“To be taken with love for a soul, God does not look on its greatness, but the greatness of humility” (St. John of the Cross, OCD).

I have a precarious relationship with pride. On some days, I find myself dancing the line between confidence and self-applause. On others, I oscillate between an acute awareness of my limitations and a dismissive assurance that I can do anything alone. My understanding of self has become one of my greatest strengths and, dually, a heavy cross.

As a new professional in the workforce, I feel a constant pressure to prove my value as an employee. I have to satisfy my boss’ demands while bringing forward innovative ideas. On one hand, I feel overwhelmed by my new tasks and the demands of adjusting to the company’s culture and workflow. On the other, I am battling my excessive need to assert myself and offer criticism. Maybe it is because I recently left leadership positions where I had full control, but now that I am in a lower position of less power, my pride has started to consume me more than ever before.

For example, when a concept I’ve pitched is rejected, or my supervisor tells me to change something, my first response is irritation. While confidence and ideation are not sins, this immediate annoyance indicates a deeper issue and, in this case, points to my inordinate esteem of myself. Why do I think my idea is better? Why am I annoyed that I have to change something? Do I have a genuine concern for the greater good of the company, or is this feeling about me and my self-esteem? I ask myself these questions, but the answers are not always easy to find.

Turning to Prayer

One of the most difficult parts of combatting pride is understanding where it lives in your habits and festers in your soul. Saint Josemaria Escrivá, a Catholic priest who founded Opus Dei — a religious organization of laity and priests dedicated to holiness in ordinary life — lays out 17 areas (particularly in the workplace) where one may lack humility (quoted below from his book “The Way, Furrow, The Forge.”):

• “Thinking that what you do or say is better than what others do or say.”

• “Always wanting to get your own way.”

• “Arguing when you are not right or — when you are — insisting stubbornly or with bad manners.”

• “Giving your opinion without being asked for it, when charity does not demand you to do so.”

• “Despising the point of view of others.”

• “Not being aware that all the gifts and qualities you have are on loan.”

• “Not acknowledging that you are unworthy of all honor or esteem, even the ground you are treading on or the things you own.”

• “Mentioning yourself as an example in conversation.”

• “Speaking badly about yourself, so that they may form a good opinion of you, or contradict you.”

• “Making excuses when rebuked.”

• “Hiding some himiliting faults from your director so that he/she may not lose the good opinion he/she has of you.”

• “Being hurt that others are held in greater esteem than you.”

• “Refusing to carry out menial tasks.”

• “Seeking or wanting to be singled out.”

• “Letting drop words of self-praise in conversation, or words that might show your honesty, your wit or skill, your professional prestige.”

• “Being ashamed of not having certain possessions.”

When I first came across this reflection, an audible “Yep, yes, uh-huh, I’ve done that, me yesterday” mumbled from my lips for most of the points. But, knowing where to start helps me ask God for help in a specific area where I need grace, mercy, and strength to overcome my loud ego.

The reality is that everything I am, every talent I’ve fostered and every accomplishment I’ve tackled, is because of the Lord. My gifts and abilities are unique, and I should be thankful, self-secured, and joyful because of them. Pride should never consume me, and I should not believe I am better than others and walk around with a self-absorbed, excessively haughty persona. In fact, cultivating the virtue of humility will help me become a better leader, a better employee, a better daughter of the King — and, let’s be real, a better human being.

Create Your Own Prayer

If you’re looking for other prayer resources to foster humility, the Litany of Humility is a powerful reflection that invites God into the areas of your pride. You can also write one of your own for your specific areas of pride. For example:

Jesus, God of all my gifts and talents, hear me. Be with me at work, in all my tasks, meetings, and conversations.

From the desire to have my ideas heard above others,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of gaining power and esteem,

Deliver me, Jesus.  

From the desire of being the center of attention,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire to prioritize myself and my work over You and the Kingdom,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire to talk about myself and my accomplishments,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being wrong,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of losing what I have,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being unliked, unappreciated, and unpraised,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of suffering criticism,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the lie that I don’t have enough time,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the lie that I need to be worldly to be accomplished,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the lie that I can do it all on my own,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the lie that my worth is in what I do,

Deliver me, Jesus.

That my co-workers and boss may be praised and I unnoticed,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That those I encounter may increase and be esteemed more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That I allow others to be chosen, highlighted, and promoted while I go unpreferred,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That I may walk with holy confidence and self-assurance and do the will of God,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

AMEN

Marissa Vonesh is a recent graduate from the University of Miami. She currently works as the lead graphic designer for Moment magazine in Washington, D.C. A native to Northern Arizona and adventure junkie, she is no stranger to hiking, spontaneous road trips, and midnight adoration sessions. Visit her work at marissavonesh.com, or connect with her on Instagram.