“Everyday I say to myself, today I will begin” (St. Anthony of the Desert).

It would be an understatement to say it has been an unexpected first year as a young professional. I started my first salaried job remote, navigating a transition of an entire company at the onslaught of COVID-19. In countless ways, the transition from student to working professional has been rocky. And, like others, I haven’t been able to untie my bumpy start into the workforce from the change that was brought on by the pandemic. Was I struggling to adjust because of the transition, because of restrictions brought by working remotely, or a combination of both? The reality is, I will never know.

As I attempted to navigate my post-student life, I realized that the majority of professional advice I had previously received revolved around searching and interviewing for a job or how to move to the next stage in your career. I had very little padding to help me navigate unspoken company rules (which look different everywhere) and evolve into a successful, high-performing professional.

In reflecting on the past year, I can sum up what I wish I had known or had sat with longer in my first year on the job:

1. Success Looks Different

As a student, I was achievement-oriented — usually to a fault. Striving for perfection, rubric in hand, I knew what I needed to do to be “successful” (read: receive a scholarship or maintain a high GPA). The rules were simple: Put in the work, reap the benefit. And I did for over 16 years.

But in the professional space, success isn’t always measured by a number or “getting the work done.” Research shows that likability and presence on a team are just as important to competence and, in some cases, more important. Simply stated, building relationships with team members and being a collaborative, easy-to-work-with person pays off tenfold in the long run.

Other things can look like success, too, like coming up with an innovative idea (even if it gets scrapped), pushing yourself to take on a task outside your defined role, developing an effective daily morning routine,  committing to prayer, practicing a hobby, or cooking instead of eating takeout.

It’s been pivotal for me to reframe how I view my daily, quarterly, and yearly successes, both personally and professionally, because I no longer have a defined goal set from outside sources (i.e., going to college, finding an internship, earning good grades, etc.). By expanding my definition of achievement, I feel more accomplished, even with the smallest of celebrations.

2. Mirror Others

Most of the unspoken office culture is modeled by co-workers, so I’ve found it helpful to observe how they dress, communicate, and act and then duplicate their actions. These behaviors include everything from how to draft an email or express an opinion in a meeting to how to take time for a doctor’s appointment or discuss my personal life.

Company culture can be exaggerated if there is a large generational gap between workers or if you don’t come from the same socioeconomic or cultural background as others. These differences have the potential to complicate your understanding of an expected social cue or create hurdles for relationship-building. For example, I work for a Jewish organization where I am, on average, 40 years younger than my team members. In this environment, more than 80% of cultural references from a co-worker go above my head. However, rather than being defeated by differences, I do my best to understand, take notes, and assimilate into the broader company culture while I mirror how the staff handles day-to-day business operations.

As I mirror, though, it’s also become important for me to discern what is a non-negotiable value rather than something I can be more lenient about. Gorick Ng, a career adviser at Harvard, describes this discernment process through the lens of three circles: The middle is “what you find to be sacred,” the second is what you find to be “negotiable,” and the final ring is what you are “indifferent about.” Ng recommends categorizing elements of your identity using this framework to ensure you aren’t giving up anything important to you just to keep a job or assimilate. Your values can range from how you want to style your hair or communicate to how you defend your religious and political views.

3. Clear Communication

Unlike at school, where most assignments have clear instructions and due dates, many work tasks are not that structured. Most educational environments are geared toward the success of the student, with resources lined up and laid out for him or her. Some teachers and professors were less helpful than others, but I could rely on the required office hours and the fact that their job emphasized my ability to flourish.

On the job, however, while I know my performance impacts the company as a whole, I am no longer the mission. If I am confused about a deadline, a project, or a company policy, and my manager or co-worker hasn’t laid out all the information in a pretty package, it is up to me to start to find clarity. I’ve found it helpful to do the following:

Use  “what,” “how,” and “when” questions to fully understand projects when expectations are unclear.

You don’t know what you don’t know, but it’s important to play your part in communicating. Ask yourself — and your supervisor — what exactly is being asked of you, how the team would prefer that it happen, and when it needs to be completed. These questions will alleviate unspoken expectations and make you look competent and proactive.

Ask questions — but know when you can answer your own question.

I’m sure you’ve heard, “There is no such thing as a stupid question,” and I agree — except when the answer may be percieved as common sense. There is no way of knowing if your question is going to seem obvious to someone else, but you can do your part to show them you looked for an answer and are still unsure. This way, you communicate your question but avoid coming across as lazy.

Use horizontal networking to your advantage.

Befriend people who are the same level as, or just above, you, and rely on them to explain things that confuse you. It’s less intimidating to ask questions to a co-worker who was recently in your shoes, and having teammates you trust will help.

4. Be Gentle to Yourself

There has been a lot of hype up until this moment,  and praise be to God, a job is a blessing and a big deal. However, if the transition is rocky, if you don’t feel inspired every single day, if you are having a difficult time communicating with supervisors and co-workers, rest in knowing you are not alone. This season of transition is hard. Growth is hard. Moving from the highly ordered life of academics to the self-reliant, seemingly blank abyss of post-graduation life is not easy. You may also be juggling living with new people, moving to a different city, figuring out how to become financially stable, and learning how to build a community — all while establishing yourself as a productive, committed, innovative employee. Lean into your identity as a daughter of God, and rejoice in the truth that your job title is not your worth.

Marissa Vonesh works as the lead graphic designer for Moment magazine in Washington, D.C. A native to Northern Arizona and adventure junkie, she is no stranger to hiking, spontaneous road trips, and midnight adoration sessions. Visit her work at marissavonesh.com, or connect with her on Instagram.