“We must understand then, that even though God doesn’t always give us what we want, he always gives us what we need for our salvation” (St. Augustine).

When I was married and had my first child, I was adamant that I should be a stay-at-home mom. Staying at home without contributing toward our household income, however, was not an option for our family. Eventually, I found myself in a job that I loved, in a career that I felt like I was finally confident in.

In 2020, adding a second child to our quarantine routine and attempting to work from home brought about its own struggles that made me realize my worth as a wife, a mother, and a worker. Sending two kids full time to daycare no longer made sense to us financially, which is when my freelance career finally took off.

Being a mom is something that I have struggled with. I think I’m doing a pretty great job at it, and I love my two kids more than I ever knew I could, but some days are really, really hard. Being a mom shifted my drive, and I no longer saw my career as something I had to do. Now, it became something I needed and wanted. It took me a while to arrive at this point in my life, and I encountered many obstacles, but it is possible to find contentment in being a working mom.

Finding Reliable Child Care

Child care is one of my biggest stressors, because there is nothing worse than someone who isn’t reliable. Finding someone you can trust to care for your child is easily one of the most stressful things about going back to work after maternity leave. Even when you take the tour, meet the other families, and sign the paperwork, you still feel uneasy about leaving your child with someone else.

At various points over the course of our two kids’ lives, we’ve used daycare, family members, and nannies. They all look different, and finding what works for your family will make all the difference. If you don’t know the facility or the person, doing thorough research for accreditation and reviews and asking other families in the facility will help put your mind at ease when you are at work all day. There were many things I looked for when I was searching for child care, but the biggest question I asked myself was, “Will this person love my child like I love my child?”

List the Reasons You Work

Regardless of whether you have to work, want to work, or both, listing the reasons you work can be a powerful reminder that there is dignity in what you are doing. You are contributing to your household income, putting a roof over your family’s head, and putting money toward savings or a household project. Whatever they are, make sure you hold onto the reasons that you started working in the first place.

Maybe you have to work for the reasons I listed above (it’s why I work—to pay the bills!), and you find yourself frustrated or bitter that you can’t have more time for yourself to do something else you love. Try listing the ways you can find fulfillment in your job, or turn to prayer and ask God if there is another career direction you should be taking.

Stop Comparing

I am guilty of comparing, almost every day. Aren’t you, too?

“Her kitchen is so much cleaner than mine. I should stay at home full time like she does. I should work full time like she does. Her vacation looked more fun than mine.”

It never ends. We’re in a constant internal war with ourselves, and we project it onto the lives of other women. The reality is that nobody has a perfect life. I know we know it’s true, but a healthy reminder never hurt anyone.

I had to stop comparing myself to other women my age and friends who were in similar situations to give myself the freedom to love my career. There is always going to be someone I can compare myself to and someone whom I feel like I should strive to be like.

I had to stop feeling guilty for not working full time and, at the same time, for not wanting to “stay home” full time in the traditional sense. I created a mixture of staying home and working that works for myself and my family, and it has been a big blessing. I eliminated the outside noise and focused on my needs as a woman in business, and I have never looked back.

Colleen Godinez is a freelance copywriter living in Kansas City. She graduated from Kansas State University with a BS in psychology and a minor in journalism and mass communication. In her spare time, she loves laughing with friends and family and finding new wines to sip on (sparkling rose on warmer days). She has learned to appreciate the little things in life and soaks up every moment she can with her two kids and husband. You can follow her on Facebook or Instagram.