“The human heart plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps” (Proverbs 16:9).

Leaving Behind Self-reliance

Have you ever heard the saying that rejection is God’s redirection? I never quite understood the sentiment of it until I went through a bad break-up and lost my job last year.

I’d been praying to God for my vocation of marriage and for the passion projects I was juggling alongside an unfulfilling full-time job for a while, but instead of surrendering everything to him, I went to my default setting of self-reliance.

I yearned for excitement and flexibility in my career, often toying with the idea of quitting and going freelance, but I was too worried to leave behind a regular salary and pension benefits, ignoring the clear desire God had put in my heart.

So, what did God do? He played checkmate. He gave me the opportunity to take voluntary redundancy (with a severance check that would give me some breathing space)—yet I was still scared to say “yes,” to give God my fiat.

I also ended up in a relationship with someone who was a practicing Catholic but clashed with me on certain values. Despite this red flag, I was certain he was sent by God. Little did I know I was doing a “Sarah,” trying to rush my Isaac through Ishmael (Genesis 16).

The Ocean of Faith

Believing in God’s divine providence is a leap of faith. Hebrews 11:1 defines faith as “the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.” I like to think of it like the ocean, something you can’t truly appreciate or become one with until you go from dipping your toes to diving head-first and immersing yourself.

To have this faith, we must constantly ask for God’s grace in every moment in our day, from the seemingly mundane to the big decisions that require heavy discernment. We may be used to praying the rosary and sitting in silence in adoration, but how many of us strive to conform our whole life to God’s will? We often place our own timing above God’s, but “the Lord does not delay his promise, as some regard ‘delay,’ but he is patient with you, not wishing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).

It is God’s will for us to be sanctified and prepared for our home in heaven. The way it happens is a mystery to us, but he’s never promised that it will happen without suffering. Leaning into God’s will for my life while navigating an unexpected season has been the most freeing experience of my journey so far.

Now, instead of experiencing stress, indecision fatigue, and an attitude of scarcity, I realize that we live in abundance through the love of the Holy Trinity. In any decision I make, big or small, I wait to see which path will bring me the most fruit, constantly resting in God, who will surprise me with his peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you … plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Delphine Chui is a London-based cradle Catholic who strayed away from the Church for over 10 years. Convicted and undeniably pursued by God and Our Lady when she hit 30, she has been chasing truth and love ever since. Her radical reversion saw her completely change her life, taking on a whole new approach to her career, friendships and relationships. A former mainstream magazine journalist, Delphine now works full-time on her charity, CareDogs, which helps bring lonely or socially-isolated older people back into the community through canine companionship. When she’s not attending Traditional Latin Mass or doing something cat/dog-related (she has both at home), she can be found listening to podcasts or journaling. You can connect with her and say hi on Instagram.