“The Lord does not do things by halves; He always gives what we need. Let us then carry on bravely.” (St. Zélie Martin).

I usually listened, scrolled through, and watched the unfurling stories of women being polarized and treated unfairly in the workplace with a quizzical disbelief. In a world where people seem to vie for attention of any sort, I half-consumed, half-dismissed what seemed like a movement of women speaking out against an inequality ideology that I really didn’t think existed. Looking back, I can see that I didn’t fully understand, because I hadn’t experienced it myself.

Until I did. And it was quite the catalyst.

The Value of Knowing Yourself 

For many years, I was part of a tiny team helping to grow a successful company’s administration, operations, project management, marketing, and communications departments. Despite having the nagging feeling that a glass ceiling existed, I always tried to be appreciative of the opportunities I received and to choose gratefulness.

One day, when talking with a C-suite leader whom I respected and enjoyed the occasional chat with about corporate giving and workplace culture, I was suddenly told that it always seemed like something wasn’t good enough for me. That I was too opinionated about things. That I inserted myself into too many things, and that I was at risk of being a “squeaky wheel” and not taken seriously.

I was floored. 

This executive commented on how I had suggested a few times to revisit the company’s lack of any paid maternity leave policy aside from minimal, purchased short-term disability. Multiple female colleagues had been coming to me with questions and concerns, as I had been the first team member to experience having a baby while working there. Since I had always been asked to help grow a better company, I believed it was my responsibility to bring the issue to the leadership team. The executive told me that it seemed like I was not happy at the company anymore and that, in his experience, it was always best to address unhappiness when it comes up instead of six months down the road after determining that it’s time to part ways.

Insert gigantic kick in the gut. Insert a punch in the face. Insert humiliation.

I respectfully defended myself. I said that I was always asked to innovate and improve the company, so I felt it right to bring up the issue of maternity leave. He slowly nodded and commented that in some ways, it did seem like he was speaking out both sides of his mouth and that maybe it did seem like dual standards existed.

When Humility Doesn’t Seem to Pay off

At the conclusion of this conversation, I politely thanked him, returned to my desk, and tried to digest his words. Three days later, I asked him to clarify his feedback, because I was unsure what to change and how to renavigate my role. He cordially agreed, and we sat down to chat.

I shared that I was confused; I had created, managed, and scaled various programs, policies, initiatives, and platforms at this company and was always told I was appreciated and respected for being responsible and independent. I desired to improve my performance and grow with the company. 

“Even this, wanting to know more, to understand more—this is the problem!” was the flustered response I received. He told me that some things can’t be completely identified, outlined, or understood. I was dumbfounded.

Then, he waved his arms around and said, “You’ve told me a few times that there’s a group of women concerned about our lack of maternity leave policy, asking you questions about it, and wanting change, but no one’s knocking on my door backing that up! And so I have to wonder, is it just you who has a problem with it? Where are all the women you talk about who care about this? Because I don’t see them.”

(I felt an instant rise in my temperature at being called a liar after attempting to mitigate the concerns of my female colleagues by approaching leadership because they weren’t comfortable doing so.)

The final advice he gave me was, “The more you stick your neck out, the more your neck gets cut off.”

I rapidly moved through disbelief to anger to hot tears as I walked back to my desk.

God’s Ways Are Not Our Own

The conversation ended like that a few years ago, and I never experienced anything like it again. I almost don’t believe it happened with someone I respected and trusted. What I do believe is that a man would not have been so unfairly treated, spoken to, humiliated, or polarized the way I was for no real reason—and that is upsetting.

Maybe he was having a bad day, or he was in a bad mood. I know he is a good man with good intentions, and I have no ill feelings toward him. But, surely, this was not a way to keep someone’s heart in the game and on the team. The company added a small amount of paid maternity leave to the benefits package soon thereafter, but since that day, something stirred inside me to start my own company and build my own dreams. I never again wanted to be in the position where someone could tell me off for striving for greatness and seeking to improve a company from a place of truth. Fast-forward a few years later, and I have not only one but two businesses that I am pouring my heart into—and I couldn’t be happier.

Elise Crawford Gallagher (co-founder and co-president of Catholic Women in Business and founder and CEO of Ringlet Studio), speaking at the Possibility Mom Conference held by Lisa Canning, said that “the Lord uses holy destruction to build something new.” Likewise, January Donovan, founder of The Woman School, commented, “There isn’t really anything that God calls you to that you cannot do, because he gives you grace. The first battle is seeing what is possible.”

The possibilities are endless, for you and for me. I’m grateful for these words of inspiration from some amazing women. God is a present and guiding hand in our lives; if we constantly seek him and put our heart into our work, he will be there. The destruction of our plans is not the destruction of our dreams.

Laura Pugliano is co-founder of Ciccio's Olives, an award-winning extra virgin olive oil produced by her in-laws in Calabria, Italy. She recently launched Sprezza Creative Co, where she crafts elegant content for B2B businesses. Laura is a wife, mother, and an alumna of Franciscan University of Steubenville. Join her on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn.