“A clean heart create for me, God; renew within me a steadfast spirit. Do not drive me from before your face, nor take from me your holy spirit” (Psalm 51:12-13).

When women come to me to explore coaching, I hear the longing in their unsettled hearts. I hear the same three common frustrations: They lack hope they can persevere and reach their goals; they’re unclear on the next right step in life or business; or they know exactly what to do, but they're not giving themselves permission to do it.

An unsettled heart means you know God has more in store for you, and you’re longing for that growth, even though it means things may get harder before they get better. The work to create a clean heart can bring discomfort, so naturally, most of us shy away from it. It’s deep work that opens us up and makes us feel vulnerable.

How do we create a clean heart? Well, as the Psalmist says, we don’t. We let God do it.

Do You Yield?

When the Holy Spirit wants me to take a closer look at something, He offers me a word. I don’t hear a booming voice from the heavens. I see a word in the daily Gospel, or someone says something that catches my attention, because it relates to a cross I’m carrying. Then, I hear or read this word at least two more times in a short period of time.

Lately, this word has been “yield.” First, it came through our youngest son. He was playing with me, recreating a battle scene, and kept asking me, “Do you yield?” He wouldn’t stop until I answered. To play along, I said, “No,” thus continuing the battle.

At my parish mission the next night, the priest used the word “yield” in relation to following the promptings of the Holy Spirit. One of the definitions of yield is “to surrender or relinquish to the physical control of another” or “hand over possession of.”

There’s that word again: surrender. I have made some big strides in this area, but obviously, the Holy Spirit is telling me I have to walk further down this path. Just like when I was playing with my son, I chose not to yield, so the battle continued. By not fully yielding to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, I’m choosing to let the battle go on.

It’s not making my crosses any lighter.

Thank God for this grace of self-knowledge! The Father certainly can’t create in me a clean heart and renew my spirit if I don’t let Him in, if I don’t relinquish control to Him. It’s about His will, not mine, and He’s asking me to redirect my gaze.

Redirect Your Gaze

Your internal gaze, prayers, vision, dreams, hopes, goals, and thoughts should always be directed to God. Let’s ponder this idea in the physical sense for a moment: If you fix your eyes on Jesus crucified, how do you yield to Him? If you fix your eyes on the risen Christ, how do you yield to Him? These are two very different gazes that bring us to the same Person. Leading to and on the Cross, Jesus completely yielded to the Father for all of us! What good can come from you yielding to the crosses in your life?

When you gaze upon the risen Christ, you see the splendor of Jesus’ accomplishment of the will of His Father and reflecting the Father’s glory. Have you ever been curious about what your life would be like if you let the Father do His will in you? How can you reflect the light of Jesus and the Father to others in all that you do?

When you look at your life with spiritual eyes, what captures your gaze? Is it Jesus, or is it the world’s definition of success? Does He capture your gaze, or do your prideful plans? I’m a life coach; a big part of how I coach women to transform their lives is through planning. So, how does this all work together? God’s plans are always better, but you can co-create with God.

Co-Creating With God

The cleaning of our heart takes time and energy. In my experience, there is such a thing as spiritual battle fatigue, and thank God—because it means I’m persevering. It means I’m closer to God than I ever have been in my life.

As you redirect your gaze, I encourage you to allow yourself some play time. We are, after all, God’s children. Have fun with the journey of cleaning your heart! God the Father, who created everything, has plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11)! Be in awe!

What are the ways you love to praise God and thank Him for the gift of your life? Enjoy His creation, because He made it all for you. Go outside and spend time in nature, or use your artistic talents to create something new.

The Father also created Jesus and Mary for us. Ask His Son, Jesus, to give you the grace to be your authentic self. Ask His daughter, Mary, our mother and queen, to show you all the ways she co-created, and continues to do so, with the Father. She is both a handmaiden of the Father (the lowliest of servants) and the queen of Heaven—quite an ascent! Perhaps she has some insight into your own “promotion”?

Invite the Holy Spirit into all of your decisions. “Be still and know” that He is God (Psalm 46:11) and will always direct your steps. All you have to do is take one step out in faith. You don’t have to know how it’ll all work out; you just have to act on the next right thing.

Co-creating with God begins with the hidden work that must be done in the silence of your heart. Ask Him where He’s calling you spiritually, within your home, in your relationships, in how you restore and care for your body and mind, and in how you can glorify Him in your work. Be quiet, receive His inspiration, and put pen to paper and reflect with God.

Only when you yield to the promptings of the Holy Spirit can God begin His work of cleaning and renewing your unsettled heart. This is the work of a Father Who loves you. All you have to do is let Him work.

Do you yield? Or will you let the battle rage on?

Liz Montigny is a recovering boss-babe, practicing Catholic, wife, boy mom to three - homeschooler to one, coach, and creator of a theatre ministry based on the Rosary. Part of her mission is to help you stoke that fire in your heart so you bring to life what you only dream about. Liz is offering a women’s destination retreat, Spark, in October 2024. Discover Liz’s services here.