Three Quick Tips for Leaders with Introversion, Shyness, or Social Anxiety
“[...] everyone should be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James 1:19).
I'm no stranger to "performing" in front of groups of people. I participated in piano recitals for over a decade. I have delivered a slew of speeches in diverse settings, ranging from a classroom to presenting my Ph.D. thesis as an elevator pitch to a generalist audience in a huge auditorium. I've volunteered as a lector at my parish community in Canada and abroad during extended stays in the U.S. and the U.K. However, all these occasions of speaking in front of groups of people were well-practiced and rehearsed. In such situations, I am comfortable performing in a clear and confident manner.
Leadership skills are built into my current position: showing up in front of groups and taking the lead without a script goes hand-in-hand with my job description. Memorizing in advance and then regurgitating it is not an option. Another complicating factor is that a good proportion of these leadership interactions at work occur in my second language, French. If you lack confidence in group settings, being placed in a leadership role where you need to interact in your non-native tongue only makes the situation more challenging.
We are all gifted with our own unique set of talents, which are meant to be shared. For some, that may be the gift of writing; for others, teaching; or 一 for certain people 一 innate leadership skills (sadly, I do not belong in the last group). That doesn’t necessarily mean that we should avoid our weaker spots. Rather, we can work to become more comfortable in using and developing additional skills.
For individuals who are introverted, shy, living with social anxiety, or have other similar personality traits, taking the lead in group settings can be anxiety-provoking, uncomfortable, and mentally exhausting. If you identify as someone in this category and have trouble taking the lead in group settings 一 or maybe you know someone who does 一 here are three quick tips to get you started. This is a non-exhaustive list of factors that have been proven to help (in a sample size of one 一 me!) in diverse group settings.
1. Arrive Prepared
There is only so much you can do to prepare for a group meeting, a panel discussion, a mixer, and the like. However, putting together an outline 一 whether typed out, written out, or in your mind 一 ahead of time to offer some form of structure can help mitigate anxieties. Depending on the setting, arriving prepared may look like jotting down an agenda or rough checklist with points you would like to discuss, explain, or answer by the end of the event. Alternatively, perhaps you have outlined the types of questions you could ask to initiate conversation or further discussion.
2. (Try to) Relax
Of course, this is easier said than done for someone who isn't super comfortable in group situations. Find a strategy that works for you. Does taking a few slow, deep breaths before starting help? Or maybe you have a short prayer you recite to get you ready before you need to be on? There is also no shame in seeking professional help to explore ways to better cope with the stress and anxiety that can be triggered.
3. Get Exposure
As with many situations in life, the more you do it, the easier it gets. Rather than defaulting to avoidance, embrace opportunities to take the lead. The period of social isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic unfortunately set me back several steps on this skill. Virtual meetings are not necessarily easier nor harder than in-person interactions when it comes to finding your words and your confidence to speak up and lead, but they present different challenges than in-person leadership activities. I felt like I was seriously out of practice in group settings when the world returned to in-person interactions again, but since then I’ve been gently pushing myself to accept leadership opportunities. Introverts, people with social anxiety, or those who are shy are indeed able to thrive and flourish when taking initiative and leading in group settings. I hope these tips will help begin to pave your path toward fostering a greater sense of confidence when leadership calls.
Sarah Gagliano Taliun is a genetics professor with many interests in addition to studying DNA. She and her husband now call Montreal home. When she is not reading a scientific article or meeting with students, Sarah can be found experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen, reading her Bible, or taking a walk in nature.