“That Your love goes deeper than my sins and failings and transforms me, Jesus, I trust in You” (Litany of Trust).

I recently texted my best friend and asked if it would be weird if I started going to her therapist. I am a big respecter of boundaries and am overly cautious about crossing them. She responded that, of course, she didn’t mind. She forwarded his contact information to me and then did the most important thing: She texted, “You good?”

It’s what we do: We check in with each other and make sure we’re good. I never take those texts for granted.

Like thousands of others, I struggled with my mental health during the pandemic. I felt overwhelmed and helpless, which led to months of depression. No matter how hard I tried, I was in a fog and could not get myself out.

And that could have been my downfall. I was trying to un-depress myself.

“From the false security that I have what it takes, deliver me, Jesus.”

I have a strong faith in God. I have a supportive, loving husband. I have wonderful friends whom I can reach out to.

So, why was I depressed?

I told myself daily to stop being ridiculous and be happy and grateful for what I have and that others had circumstances much worse than my own.

This narrative that I told myself—to try harder and pray more; that I only needed to have more trust in God; that, if I put my mind to it, I could somehow grateful myself out of this sea of unhappiness—was all a lie.

“From discouragement, deliver me, Jesus.”

Prior to my conversation with my friend, I participated in three free counseling sessions that I was able to access through my health insurance. The therapist was great—reassuring, kind, and helpful. I tried a series of other therapists to find a good fit, but it was a frustrating process, and I got tired of continually starting over, so I gave up.

The depression went on for over a year. I can’t tell you what changed—why I was driving one day and realized I didn’t feel like I was underwater anymore. I had not found a therapist. I did not take medication. It was like a slow awakening out of a long, fitful night.

“That my life is a gift, Jesus, I trust in You.”

I write this article as a cautionary tale: Do not white-knuckle it. Do not try to pull yourself out of a mental health issue.

It is not a mark against you if you need a therapist or medication. It seems unnecessary to say, but even now, when I can scroll through social media and find at least 10 posts in two minutes with the hashtag #mentalhealth, there still seems to be a stigma, especially in faith communities.

But, regardless of how strong my faith is, how much I pray, and how much I love and am loved by others, if I don’t deal with the things that keep pulling me back under that water, I am not living as God intended. I cannot be the wife, the mom, the friend, or the employee He wants me to be.

“That Your plan is better than anything else, Jesus, I trust in You.”

Whether you or someone you know is struggling with a mental health issue, there is a saint to pray with, including St. Thérèse of Lisieux (scrupulosity), St. Jane Frances de Chantal (anxiety and depression), St. Oscar Romero (obsessive compulsive disorder), and St. Dymphna (patron saint of psychiatry and mental health).

These saints had extraordinary faith, but they still struggled. There is some solace in that fact.

“That You are with me in my suffering, Jesus, I trust in You.”

Pray the Litany of Trust. It has brought me immeasurable comfort. Pray for clarity, peace, and healing for yourself. And get therapy if you need it. And medication. There is no shame in needing help. Don’t live in misery for months or years because you think your faith is not strong enough or that you are not deserving of peace and healing.

After I had that text exchange with my friend, it took me several days to call her therapist’s office for an appointment. I went back and forth in my head: Do I need to talk with someone? Can I figure it out on my own?

Nope. I’ve learned that I cannot. I’m currently working on scheduling my first appointment. I’m thankful for professionals whom God has gifted to help us and for the comfort that prayer brings as we muddle through. Amen.

“That I am Your beloved one, Jesus, I trust in You.”

Cathi Kennedy is passionate about building relationships. At the University of Notre Dame, she advises graduate students for the Mendoza College of Business. Her background is in marketing and communications, and she recently received her MBA. Impassioned writer, voracious reader, aspiring knitter. Married to a musician and mom to two amazing sons. Cathi is a convert to Catholicism and seeks to learn something new about her faith every day. Connect with Cathi: LinkedIn • Instagram • Facebook • Blog