“Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.’ The Lord said to her in reply, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her’” (Luke 10:40-42).

Women are often burdened by so many things, whether by force, inclination, or passion. Is each burden really, in God’s eyes, something we need to carry? Will it be important when we reach Christ’s timeless tribunal (Matthew 24:41)? Throughout history, the expectations and roles of women have evolved, and many would seek to do away with any distinction between men and women—perhaps even to abolish the label of “woman” itself.

This notion prompts us as Catholics to evaluate how we’ve arrived at this place and whether we should retreat to a time when gender roles were more strictly adhered to—remembering what made us different as a sex while safeguarding and celebrating those differences as something to be passed on from generation to generation (Titus 2:3-5).

This tradition could lead some saintly women to abandon certain chores, strip themselves of titles, or forget work altogether, in order to closely follow Christ (Matthew 16:24). While some arguments for women to resign from a position may have their rightful place, other reasons for women to quit working may completely disregard our gifts and need to support ourselves or our family (Proverbs 31:10-31).

There can be a fine line between having a healthy work life and avoiding other feminine roles God gave us. The only real way to know if we should be refraining from a job is if it causes us to deprioritize family, neighbor, and God.

Discarding the Chief Ego Ingredients

Many women have adopted a self-sufficient, career woman disposition to overcome something they perceive as a weakness, such as being “dependent” on a spouse. Their primary goal is fulfillment by means of work. Some women have always had this persona, while others have learned it from our work-grind culture. Often, the tension between this societal norm and Christian teachings begins to tear, resulting in distorting the truth, damaging family dynamics, and enabling self-preoccupation—the opposite of the nurturing woman God calls us to be.

Have you been able to keep your work priorities in check while patiently tending to your loving relationships with God and others? We can set many things in motion when we derive too much self-worth from our job. As a result, our career slowly begins to redefine our womanhood. Misguided deeds prevent us from seeing ourselves as ladies gifted with God’s grace—a gift deeply imbued within us, something that can never be taken from us (Luke 10:42).

Some women fall into the trap of tying their self-worth to their professional achievements, as measured by their expertise, resume, network ties, or similar external markers (Proverbs 31:30). Other women who over-indulge in self-reliance—past the point required by their circumstances—isolate themselves and allow their career to be the only path to support, instead of the people God places around them like family and community. (Proverbs 14:1)

Another way a woman’s pouring her worth into her work can backfire is if it leads to escapism. Where she may feel drawn to live a double life, if she is failing within her primary roles within the home—using work to pacify her personal struggles. This can be followed by delayed gratification where a woman begins to flee from irreplaceable milestones that allow her to evolve as a female. 

Malleable in the Hands of God

Some of us are also sold on the idea that if we want to work, we must go out and do something we are passionate about—which is good, as we all have different talents, but we must be careful we don’t become too attached to our work. If we do, we may refuse to pivot, let go of certain endeavors, or transition away from a long-time career path, even when it’s what God is calling us to do.

We don’t realize that God may push us into a space that is uncomfortable, even a space we may feel we have no talent in, in order to manifest His glory and do the impossible. If we are driven by entitlement, we can miss out on a chance for our Lord to reshape us for a higher calling.

On the other hand, the devil can play a role in making us feel as though we must always realize our dreams and that the reward will always match our effort. If we feel that we must always be proving ourselves, we may lean into unhealthy practices, like adopting a spirit of competitiveness, trying to work more hours than our colleagues or fighting to overachieve in every project to show off our capabilities (1 Timothy 2:9-15).

We will always be held back from the spiritual poverty we are called to as long as we have our hands entrenched in roles and tasks God is not calling us to.

I Have Stilled My Soul

“Lord, my heart is not proud; nor are my eyes haughty. I do not busy myself with great matters, with things too sublime for me. Rather, I have stilled my soul, Like a weaned child to its mother, weaned is my soul” (Psalms 131:1-2?1).

We are in an “earthly exile.” When we receive blessings from God, especially after we’ve been working hard, it is wonderful. Still, it doesn't mean we should try to fight through every challenge we’re presented with. There is a deep humility in learning to work within your means. As women and daughters of Eve, we should tend to our cross—a cross that was not given to us so that we might be relentless in attempting to rid ourselves of it.

Remember that our greatest reward for our present struggles will be eternal. That is not to take away from women (like Queen Esther, for example) who are moved into high places. If you fall into an externally important role, then God has clearly appointed you to it. There is a difference between being divinely moved into such a role and feverishly outmaneuvering your way into it (2 Timothy 2:15). A woman can lose sight of her essence when she attempts to trump the hand of God to bless herself.

Our Heavenly King does not suggest that we should be lazy but, rather, content in a lowly place that can help us to practice true gratitude. If we are to attain this spiritual poverty, we cannot simply succumb to it but must also learn to appreciate it.

Berthe Emmanuella Antoine is an interior designer who sees no distinction between her work life and devotion to God. She fine tunes others on how to create beautiful habitations in Christ from their domestic surroundings to the innermost parts of their being. Her rule of life has led her to launch INTERIOREM VITAM, a Catholic decor blog and boutique with a sleek and classic aesthetic. She is forever whisked away into the intricacies of hidden devotions and the silence of the interior life. She hopes to build a fruitful community around the brand’s mobile app. Feel free to join and start a conversation with your comments.