“Culture Talk” at Work: Navigating the Tough Conversations

“Proclaim the truth and do not be silent through fear” (St. Catherine of Siena).

After leaving the Catholic nonprofit world and entering the secular world, I knew I would inevitably be confronted with the reality that not everyone believes the Church’s teachings. I don’t live in a bubble — I have friends who aren’t Catholic, I am very much in touch with our relativistic culture, and used to abide by this relativistic mindset.

It can be completely numbing at times; feeling like my opinion is wrong, feeling defeated for the strong beliefs my parents raised me with, feeling like civil conversation is no longer an option. I have had plenty of healthy debate with friends of opposing views, and I cherish those moments, but I have struggled with engaging in dialogue with my coworkers when they discuss “cultural topics.”

For example, I have been in quite a few conversations where abortion was at the center of the discussion. While no one has ever point-blank asked me about my beliefs, I have sat in silence, wondering if I should say something. Don’t get me wrong; I’m confident enough that if I’m asked, I’ll answer truthfully — I vehemently oppose abortion. But will stating my beliefs on the subject have any impact on this conversation, or will I just create enemies in the workplace?

I don’t have the perfect equation for knowing when I should speak up, but especially right before the March for Life — and during an election year — now is a good time to share a few things I have learned:

Be Patient

Be patient with yourself, but also be patient with the person in front of you. I often feel like I’m being “baited”; most people know that I’m Catholic, so when they say things to me that are clearly against the Church’s teachings, I question if they’re just poking around to see if I’ll have a reaction. I give them the benefit of the doubt, remain patient, and listen without interjecting.

Stay Mindful of Your Body Language

Are they asking me a question that requires a definite response? As easy as it is to plan my next move or my response, I’ve noticed that it distracts me from being fully present. I’ve found myself nodding when they’re stating an opinion that clearly goes against my beliefs, and I have to immediately take control of my nodding and my facial expressions so I don’t appear to be in agreement with them.

You Don’t Need the Perfect Words

The reality is, you probably know more than you realize about defending your faith and defending yourself against our culture of death. But it can also be extremely intimidating when a person asks you, “You don’t believe women should make their own choices about their bodies?” It’s OK to say something like, “I don’t have all the answers” or, “I believe that every life is sacred, and I believe life starts from conception.” You are entitled to your opinion.

Find a Partner in Crime

… OK, not really, but I think you understand where I’m going with this. I found a Catholic co-worker who is not afraid to discuss her beliefs, and it has made all the difference. We are able to connect outside of work and discuss where we see potential opportunities to address these cultural topics. It feels so much better knowing that she has my back and I have hers.

I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have life-changing responses. I work in an environment where I am a rare breed. Coming in and laying down the Truth left and right will get me nowhere at this job and will create a hostile work environment. While I’ve spoken with a priest about this issue, I have yet to find the perfect formula for engaging in dialogue.

Many people see my beliefs as anti-woman, patriarchal, ultra-conservative, hateful, and insensitive. My job security is so important to me — but at the end of the day, all I really can think about is the security of my salvation.

Colleen Godinez is a marketing copywriter for a mid-size membership organization in Kansas City. She graduated from Kansas State University with a BS in psychology and a minor in journalism and mass communication. In her spare time, she enjoys freelance writing and helping other organizations propel their brand. She has learned to appreciate the little things in life and soaks up every moment she can with her little girl and husband. Depending on the time of day, coffee and wine are her drinks of choice. You can follow her on Facebook or Instagram.