Serving and Guiding: Lessons From the Women Who Stayed at the Foot of the Cross

“Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son.’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother’” (John 19:25-27).

BOLD WOMEN: PRESENCE AND PASSION AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS

Catholic Women in Business’ Lenten Theme

On reflecting on and discussing Christ’s passion, death, and resurrection, the Catholic Women in Business leadership team saw a common theme: women. In the New Testament, we read of bold women who encountered Jesus and were forever changed. These women boldly spoke to him, boldly loved him, and boldly took his message into their communities. This Lent, our writers will be exploring this theme in their articles. Share how you are carrying your cross boldly and passionately in our Facebook group!

When I think of Holy Week, I am immediately transported to Good Friday. I see Jesus fulfilling God’s plan of salvation, dying for me and my sin. I think of the Veneration of the Cross, when we come forward in our places of worship to kiss the feet of the one who gave everything for us. I am immensely grateful to know this Jesus and humbled by His gift to me.

Staying at the Cross When Times Are Tough

I also see the strong women who were there at the foot of the cross, surrounding Our Lady with love and support. I see Mary holding her son’s body in her arms, in complete surrender to God the Father’s plan. They are always together on this day, a mother and her son, forever entwined in Salvation History.

Mary gave herself away freely and fully with her constant “yes” to a plan she did not see coming, entering fully into the sacrament of the present moment by living out her vocation, day in and day out, even knowing that sorrow would come. She models for us exactly how we are called to live out our feminine genius: to live boldly in faith and action, listening to the will of the Father.

It’s what we are called to do as women, isn’t it? To serve and guide the people we love through all the ups and downs of life and, when it gets hard, to hit our knees interceding for them. When times are tough, we stay in the fight for them. These women at the foot of the Cross taught me that.

I have been blessed to be a biological mother twice in my life. My son Jonathan is now 30, and my daughter Courtney was with us this side of heaven for 22 years. Being their mother has been the greatest privilege of my life and one I thank Our Lady for every single day.

The early years of my motherhood were busy years filled with mundane tasks as well as new adventures. Then, our daughter started having seizures, and everything turned upside down. We struggled with the “why” instead of asking the Lord to provide us with the “how” to get through it. For years, I remained by her side, fighting for her to live the very best life she could, given her disabilities, and to be seen by a world that said she was useless. Courtney taught me how to fight by advocating with my voice and my actions. And during those years, I was accompanied by strong women who were doctors and nurses in emergency rooms and hospitals, teachers and therapists at school, and friends and family who helped me through all the trials and tribulations of caring for a severely disabled child.

For 22 years, I sacrificed my own dreams and desires to serve the family I loved. It wasn’t as hard as it sounds, because I loved my daughter with my whole heart, and I knew I was doing what was best for my family. I do not regret one moment of it, and I left nothing unsaid or undone. But on December 31, 2014, I found myself standing at Courtney’s grave, wondering how I would go on. I had just lost the only job I knew how to do. I was adrift and grieving. I had no idea how God would fix it.

Unexpected Callings

Nine months after Courtney passed, my pastor asked me to be the new liturgist for my parish. He put me in charge of the sacred spaces and all that responsibility involved, including scheduling Masses; ordering wine, hosts, and candles; and decorating for liturgical seasons. My favorite part, though, was working with families who had lost a loved one by assisting them with funeral Mass arrangements. I understood their pain. I tapped into my feminine genius — my generosity of spirit and sensitivity to the hurt of others. I knew what they were facing and how life-altering it was. I understood their need to control something when everything else had been out of control. God used my experience as a grieving mother, an advocate, and a fairly organized individual and brought all those gifts and talents into serving the Church.

But God wasn’t finished. Over the course of the next four years, my life changed dramatically. I went from being a liturgist to speaking and leading retreats to full-time women’s ministry and, finally, to being a published author, sharing my spiritual journey with the Lord. None of these things were in my life plan — but then, God is God, and I am not. He has used every gladness and every distress to bring about reconciliation and healing. And I have not journeyed alone. Like Mary, I have been surrounded by women filled with wisdom, empathy, and tremendous faith.

As Catholic women, we are called to live out our feminine genius in all aspects of our life, whether in joy or in sorrow, in our homes and out in the world. We have the unique opportunity to plant our feet at the foot of the Cross by fulfilling our purpose and serving our families, co-workers, and employees with same compassion and service that was modeled not only by our Blessed Mother but also by many of the women who accompanied our Lord on his mission. Their compassion and empathy illuminate our path to serve, one needy soul at a time.

God wastes nothing from our life. He uses every experience to bring about His glory and our good in the most unexpected ways.

Mary Lenaburg is a highly sought-after international public speaker and evangelizer with a strong background in women’s and youth ministry. Her bestselling book Be Brave in the Scared is an uplifting account of human frailty (and stubbornness) surrendered to faith. Lenaburg tells the heart-rending story of how caring for her severely disabled daughter affected her self-image, marriage, family life, and faith.

Mary and her husband have been happily married for 31 years, finding joy among the ashes having lost their disabled daughter Courtney in 2014. They live in Northern Virginia with their grown son Jonathan. She continues to embrace her father’s advice:  “Never quit, never give up, never lose your faith. It’s the one reason you walk this earth. For God chose this time and place just for you, so make the most of it.”