Are You Doing It All Yourself?
“O Jesus, I surrender myself to You. Take care of everything!” (Servant of God Don Delindo, The Surrender Novena).
As women, and as Catholics, we can sometimes feel like it’s all up to us, whether at home, work, or our faith communities. After all, didn’t St. Teresa of Avila say Christ has no hands on earth but ours? Aren’t we supposed to imitate Mary’s fiat? What’s more, there are often cultural expectations that women be helpers and pleasers, to nurture and not make waves.
It’s a recipe to end up overwhelmed and overburdened at work and every other sphere of our lives. However, the good news is that God doesn’t expect us to do it all, nor does he require us to do it all ourselves. As women of faith, we have at our disposal two helpful spiritual practices: discernment and providence.
Discernment: “Jesus Didn’t Want Us to Be Doormats”
Anytime the issue of the “turn the other cheek” discourse came up, my mom used to tell us, “Jesus didn’t want us to be doormats.” As is so often the case with the Bible, a bit of context is useful. Dr. Scott Powell of “The Lanky Guys” podcast, which prepares listeners for the Sunday Mass readings by explaining their historical and scriptural context, offers a theory about this teaching of Jesus.
Jesus’ listeners were living under the oppression of Roman rule, and Roman soldiers could impress occupied people into service for them. In telling his audience to offer their cloak, turn the other cheek, and walk with someone two miles when they pressed you to go with them one, Jesus was telling them how to subvert the expectations of their oppressors. Was it because of this surprising behavior by Christ’s followers, Powell wonders, that Roman centurions were among some of the earliest converts mentioned in the New Testament?
You see, Jesus isn’t telling us to bend over backward for anyone and everyone. By listening to the words of Jesus and cooperating with the grace of the Holy Spirit, our response to the demands of the world can bear witness, just like those earliest followers of Christ who confounded the powerful Roman Empire. When we ask the Holy Spirit to guide our actions, when we invite Jesus to conform our will to the will of his Father, we can be assured that we are truly carrying out God’s work in the world.
That listening and cooperation are part of discernment, which is key to not taking on too much. There’s nothing wrong with taking a moment (or a day, or a few days, or longer, depending on the circumstances), to discern just what God is calling you to at home, at work, at school, or in your community. Even before she gave her perfect “yes” to God’s will, Mary had some questions for the angel Gabriel.
St. Ignatius offers the definitive guide to discernment. A good spiritual director can also help.
Providence
American work culture places a lot of priority on achieving, doing, and striving. There’s a place for action, and as Catholics, we certainly have our part to play in making things happen in our part of the world.
However, it’s important to remember that our priorities are not the world’s priorities. In Matthew 6:24-34, Jesus counsels that we cannot serve God and money and that we are not to worry about our life. We’re stewards of our life, our work, our possessions, so we owe it to God to make the most of them, always discerning (there’s that word again) how to use them to glorify Him. However, those things are gifts. It’s not our job—indeed, we are specifically counseled not—to obsess over how to hang onto them or make more out of them for our own personal gain.
When we rely on God’s gifts, and trust that he responds to our requests for his help by giving us what we need, when we need it, in just the way that we need it, we can stop worrying about the fruitfulness of our own solitary efforts.
Give It to God
“Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?” Jesus asks (Matthew 6:27), reminding his disciples that the flowers in the wild do not work, but they’re still magnificent works of art. “Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness,” Jesus tells us, “and all these things will be given you besides.”
When you give it all to God, He takes care of it in ways you couldn’t even imagine. You don’t have to worry about how everything at work is going to resolve itself, because it’s all being addressed at a level way above your paygrade.
Maggie Phillips is a freelance writer and military spouse with three small children and an incredibly patient husband. Follow her work at mrsmaggiephillips.com and on Instagram at @maggies_words.