Returning to Work After Maternity Leave: 4 Tips for Work and Prayer
“God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons” (St. John Henry Newman).
I’m two months into work after maternity leave, and wow, am I exhausted!
I knew it could happen, of course, and in some ways, I sensed it would. My job tends to include waves of creatively challenging and fulfilling, but intense and fast-paced, work. It’s one of the reasons I was slightly dreading going back. But I also thought I would weather the tidal waves of work a bit better than I have.
The first couple weeks, I was diligent with my daily routine, getting my prayer, exercise, creative time, and baby snuggles in each day. I’d attend meetings and feel cool and collected. “I think some projects will start to hit soon, but for now, I feel good and capable,” I’d say.
But little by little, “easing into” work gave way to leaning and then, if I’m honest, slipping, sliding, and tumbling … until I was all in. My daily habits went out the window, and that elusive “work/life balance” I thought I’d achieved vanished. Even though I thought I knew what to expect (it is my second time around, after all), I was wrong. Turns out, the second time—and the second kid!—can be completely different.
In case you’re bracing yourself for … I mean … getting ready for the big transition to working mother (of one, two, or eight), here are a few things I’ve learned the hard way, so you don’t have to—and a few practical tips and prayer ideas to help us all get through the challenges of back-to-work life.
1. Going Back to Work Is Not Just One Change. It’s Change on Change on Change
That’s a lot of change! Which can mean a lot of big feelings for you, for your family, and for your co-workers or clients. Everyone will need time to adjust, and you’ll all be learning new things—or at least learning how to do old things in new ways.
Pro Tip
Add breathing room to your calendar, and set appointments for things that don’t change. Because you may be learning a lot, give yourself a bit more time to complete even routine tasks. I’m a big proponent of scheduling time for tasks and of time-blocking. If you’re the same way, consider adding an extra 10 minutes for each task. A few minutes added to each task, or buffer time before and after meetings, adds up and can help ensure that you don’t overbook yourself and that you have enough time to properly file notes and jot down action steps.
When it feels like so much is shifting, it can help to remember that not everything changes. There are things in your life that can and will stay the same. Include recurring events for things like prayer time, a weekly exercise class, or Sunday family brunch on your calendar in your favorite color. And stick to them—protect that time!
Put a sticky note on your laptop with a simple grounding phrase, such as, “Be still, and know.” Come back to these reminders when you’re feeling unsteady or overwhelmed.
Prayer Tip
Entrust your work and your family to the Holy Family or a favorite saint. When I felt myself starting to slip into hustle mode at work, I asked the Holy Family to keep my family safe and united. And I looked to St. Joseph as a model for fortitude at work. It gave me comfort to know they had my back.
2. You’re Not the Only One Who’s Changed (and Still Changing)
Since you’ve been away, your organization, team dynamics, and potentially even your role may have shifted. The workplace is a living, breathing thing, and there’s a good chance some things (and people) will be different now than before you left. This might mean that you feel shaky in areas where you previously felt sure. I know that I’ve left a few meetings feeling completely bewildered: “Is it just me, or was that really awkward? I think I totally misread the room that time. Oof.” Sometimes, you don’t know what you don’t know. And in a virtual context, this can be even more true.
Pro Tip
Get the “lowdown,” and ask for guidance. I’m not advocating for gossip, but I do encourage you to check in with as many people as you can. Get caught up with your teammates on a work and personal level. What have been the highs and lows for them since you’ve been away? What changes have they seen? What do they think you need to be aware of? If there’s someone on your team known for clarity and wisdom, be sure to spend extra time absorbing his or her knowledge. Doing so will help you communicate more clearly and assume your “new” role with a bit more grace.
Prayer Tip
Pray for humble curiosity.
3. You Can’t and Shouldn’t Do It All by Yourself
Do you know the feeling when you go to bed sure that you are going to crush tomorrow? The kids are in bed, the house is picked up,and your to-do list is ready to go for the next day. You can see it so clearly: “Tomorrow is going to be a great day. I’m going to exercise—in the morning! I’m going to pray a full rosary. I’m going to ... (fill in the blank here with a very long list of impressive accomplishments).”
But then, 2 a.m. hits, and the baby decides to be awake until 5, and, desperate to get a little shut-eye, you snooze until just before you need to be out of the house for school drop-off and work.
That feeling? It can derail your work day even before it gets started. As frustrating as it may be, though, I think that feeling helps to keep our pride in check. It reminds us that we’re human and that we need help from our family and colleagues, and from our Lord and Savior, every moment of the day.
Pro Tip
Respect your humanity by nurturing your body and leaning into relationships. Hydrate, stretch, take a walk, breathe deeply, and eat healthy meals. And make a point to connect with others, asking for help in specific ways.
Working solo? Recruit a couple other solo entrepreneurs to touch base weekly or bi-weekly. The Catholic Women in Business Facebook group is a great place to make new friends.
Prayer Tip
Invite the Lord to be with you throughout the day. You might say the Jesus Prayer as you take deep breaths: On the inhale, “Jesus Christ, Son of God …,” and on the exhale, “ … have mercy on me, a sinner.” Making the Sign of the Cross before you begin your day or before meetings is powerful, too.
4. You Can Start Again Tomorrow
Finally, remember that the Lord’s mercies are new every morning, and they extend to the workplace! Maybe you’ve heard this about your newborn: If you think you’ve figured something out, give it two weeks. There’s a bite to the sentiment, sure. But there’s hope in it, too. Because it’s the same when you don’t have it all figured out. In a few weeks (or even a few days), the growing pains you’re experiencing now will feel like no big deal.
Pro Tip
Keep a list of highs and lows to review weekly or monthly. Regular self-reflection can help us recognize, celebrate, and give thanks for our personal and professional growth.
Prayer Tip
Lean into trust. Trust that God knows what He’s doing in your life—that he has a plan for you and that He will help you weather this big change just as He has all the rest.
It seems fitting to leave you (and me) with a quote from St. John Henry Newman, whom my newest son is named after:
God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons.
He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work. I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments.
Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about.
Remember that “He knows what He is about.” You’re exactly the mom, spouse, employee, colleague, boss, friend, and daughter that you are supposed to be. Even if going back to work feels rocky, trust in His timing, His providence, and His love for you.
Tara Wright is an artist, Marine wife, and happy Catholic. By day, Tara creates content for Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit force behind the beloved children’s show “Sesame Street.” She is the owner of Tara Wright Illustration, where she specializes in custom art and illustration, and is co-founder of Scatter and Sow. After spending several years in New York City and Fredericksburg, Virginia, Tara and her family are currently back home in Oklahoma, riding out the pandemic closer to family.