Navigating Negotiation and Building Confidence as a Businesswoman
“She girds herself with strength; she exerts her arms with vigor. She enjoys the profit from her dealings; her lamp is never extinguished at night" (Proverbs 31:17-18).
Most of us cringe at the word and idea of negotiation. It evokes images of greasy-haired used car salesmen or, perhaps worse, an overly aggressive and greedy version of ourselves talking with our boss. But, thanks to a little help from my friends and a couple of real-life learning experiences, I’ve come to appreciate the process of negotiation and the practical benefits that can come from it.
Your Salary
Podcasts are one of my favorite ways to learn about the business and entrepreneurial landscapes. The ever-wise Jena Viviano of “Recruit the Employer” is chock-full of helpful nuggets. One piece of advice I refer back to time and time again is what her dad told her about the nature of business: “A company will only be as loyal to you as what makes financial sense to them. Whether you’re working for a really awesome organization, a non-profit, or a company you really believe in, at the end of the day, if the company can’t afford to keep you, they won’t.”
Viviano says that this fact gives you permission to be guilt-free about pursuing and advocating for what makes financial sense to you. Unless you’re working for free, you’re not working for free. That would be called “volunteering.” At the end of the day, you are working to earn money, and you are entitled to negotiate a wage or salary that makes the work beneficial to you.
Your Purchase
Similarly, with goods or services you’re paying for, it can be within reason to ask and negotiate for a rate that makes financial sense for you. I look at negotiation as a dance between two people. One person cannot be so domineering that the other person is not needed. The other person cannot be too passive and submissive, because that is not dancing; that person would be carried or, worse, dragged along and taken advantage of. Instead, a negotiation will ideally find the place where two people meet and are both mutually benefiting but not sacrificing or taking too much.
For this reason, I operate under the idea, “It never hurts to ask.” Whether it’s a private contractor, a supplier selling bulk goods, or a medical bill, these organizations want your business and will often work with you to attain it.
I recently learned while working with photographers and videographers that it’s helpful for them to know your budget, even if it’s less than what they’ve advertised. They will let you know what type of service and deliverables they can offer you within your budget. I know families who’ve had difficulty paying medical bills and were able to negotiate with the hospital, because some hospitals have a certain number of bills they can write off per year.
Negotiation might look like asking for a lower price, or it might look like trading for goods or services. Trading has been a form of currency for centuries, and it can still apply today. When you’re looking to negotiate, be creative with ways to ask for what you want and what will be mutually beneficial for both parties. The worst they can say is “no” — which leads me to my last point.
It Never Hurts to Ask — Until It Does
My dad liked to make every visit to a used car dealership a learning experience for us, walking us ahead of time through what he planned to do and say and what he might say in response to the salesperson, given a number of possible responses.
“The key to negotiation,” he’d advise, “is that you always have to be willing to walk away with nothing.”
Fast-forward to when I was let go from a position for starting my own side hustle: I was offered a severance payment as a reparation. After receiving counsel from a third party that there may be employment law violations, I decided to go back to the company and ask for a larger severance payment. Like in many situations, I had my dad’s voice in my head saying, “You have to be willing to walk away.”
I thought to myself, “What’s the worst that could happen? They could take the initial severance payment back?”
Sure enough, I received that dreaded email: “We take your request for increased severance pay as a decline of the agreement, and we withdraw the initial offer.”
It was a tough blow, to say the least, but it was a learning experience, nonetheless. It reinforced the necessity of thinking through all the possible outcomes and making sure I’m aware of the risks and confident in accepting whatever the outcome may be. I still feel a twinge of pain when I think about this situation, yet I don’t regret asking for what I believe I deserved.
Negotiation may be uncharted and uncomfortable territory, but by understanding that the purpose of negotiation is to find a middle ground for both parties, you can become a confident and proficient negotiator in no time.
Catherine Huss is the founder of the ethically made swimwear brand siena and co. She spends her free time playing pickleball, singing, and writing. Her favorite conversations combine Jesus and the modern experiences of fashion, relationships, and pop culture. Follow her most recent adventure at siena and co.