Honoring Our Lady of Sorrows
“Turn your eyes incessantly to the Blessed Virgin; she, who is the Mother of Sorrows and also the Mother of Consolation, can understand you completely and help you. Looking to her, praying to her, you will obtain that your tedium will become serenity, your anguish change into hope, and your grief into love. I accompany you with my blessing, which I willingly extend to all those who assist you” (Pope St. John Paul II).
As Catholics, we find great joy in our faith—but we also acknowledge that suffering is part of life. In fact, we go even further and believe that suffering is an essential part of life. That understanding is why we hang the crucifix on our wall and around our neck; we embrace the cross as our path to sanctification.
Why Meditate on Mary’s Sorrows?
In that context, it makes sense that we honor Mary as Our Lady of Sorrows. After all, she suffered more than any person other than her Son, and she was given more grace than anyone else, too. We can learn from her example, and we can pray for her help in that elusive practice of “suffering well.”
I discovered Our Lady of Sorrows recently, as my daughter’s name, a family name, is inspired by this devotion. The more I learned about Our Lady of Sorrows and prayed to her for my daughter, the more I understood the power of meditating on and learning from Mary’s suffering. She suffered immensely for her son, and in their final anguish, he asked her to be a mother to the rest of us as well. While she is no longer suffering, she is loving us, individually and personally, in a way that ultimately brings us closer to Jesus. As a new mom, I am trying to remember that Mary can be a mentor and a comfort as I struggle through the difficult weeks of learning what it means to be a mother.
In addition to accompanying us in our suffering and helping us do the same for others, Mary can also help us understand how suffering can be sanctifying. In his homily on the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows in 2008, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI said:
“As in the case of her Son Jesus, one might say that [Mary] too was led to perfection through this suffering (cf. Heb 2:10), so as to make her capable of receiving the new spiritual mission that her Son entrusts to her immediately before ‘giving up his spirit’ (cf. Jn 19:30): that of becoming the mother of Christ in his members.”
We can learn from Mary’s example to use our suffering to bring us closer to holiness and, ultimately, to Mary and Jesus in Heaven. Plus, Our Lady can help us in that suffering. “Who could be more intimate to us than Christ and his holy Mother, the Immaculate One?” said Pope Benedict. “More than any others, they are capable of understanding us and grasping how hard we have to fight against evil and suffering.”
As author Maura Roan McKeegan wrote for Catholic Exchange:
“It sounds strange: How could meditating on suffering help ease my suffering? Yet, in the paradox of the Cross, it did. In the hardest moments, praying through the Seven Sorrows helped me to remember that heaven understands how it feels to suffer.”
The Seven Sorrows of Mary
The seven sorrows of Mary are portrayed visually with seven swords, often piercing her Immaculate Heart. Devotion to the seven sorrows of Mary began in the 1300s after Mary reportedly told St. Bridget of Sweden that it “would bring great signal graces,” according to the Catholic Company. In her 1980s apparitions at Kibeho, Rwanda, Mary shared that praying the seven sorrows rosary can help us be more penitent and obtain forgiveness for our sins. Whether you pray the rosary or otherwise meditate on Mary’s seven sorrows, they can help you find a deeper understanding of Mary and her son and bring you closer to them both:
1. Simeon Prophecies Mary’s Suffering
“Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, ‘Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted (and you yourself a sword will pierce) so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed’” (Luke 2:34-35).
2. The Holy Family Flees to Egypt
“When they had departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Rise, take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you. Herod is going to search for the child to destroy him.’ Joseph rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed for Egypt. He stayed there until the death of Herod, that what the Lord had said through the prophet might be fulfilled, ‘Out of Egypt I called my son’” (Matthew 2:13-15).
3. Mary and Joseph Lose Jesus in Jerusalem
“Each year his parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom. After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him … ” (Luke 2:41-50).
4. Mary Meets Jesus While He Carries the Cross
“A large crowd of people followed Jesus, including many women who mourned and lamented him. Jesus turned to them and said, ‘Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep instead for yourselves and for your children, for indeed, the days are coming when people will say, “Blessed are the barren, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed.” At that time people will say to the mountains, “Fall upon us!” and to the hills, “Cover us!” for if these things are done when the wood is green what will happen when it is dry?’” (Luke 23:27-31).
5. Jesus Is Crucified and Dies
“Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son.’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother.’ And from that hour the disciple took her into his home” (John 19:25-27).
“When Jesus had taken the wine, he said, ‘It is finished.’ And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit” (John 19:30).
6. Jesus’ Body Is Taken Down From the Cross
“After this, Joseph of Arimathea, secretly a disciple of Jesus for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate if he could remove the body of Jesus. And Pilate permitted it. So he came and took his body” (John 19:38).
7. Jesus Is Buried
“Nicodemus, the one who had first come to him at night, also came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes weighing about one hundred pounds. They took the body of Jesus and bound it with burial cloths along with the spices, according to the Jewish burial custom. Now in the place where he had been crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had yet been buried. So they laid Jesus there because of the Jewish preparation day; for the tomb was close by” (John 19:39-42).
“The women who had come from Galilee with him followed behind, and when they had seen the tomb and the way in which his body was laid in it, they returned and prepared spices and perfumed oils. Then they rested on the sabbath according to the commandment” (Luke 23:55-56).
Taryn Oesch DeLong is a wife and mother in Raleigh, NC. In between changing diapers, reading stories, and singing lullabies, she is also a freelance editor and writer. Passionate about supporting women in work, in life, and in health, she is the managing editor of Catholic Women in Business, a contributor at Natural Womanhood and Live Today Well Co., and a fertility awareness advocate and FEMM instructor. In her free time, Taryn enjoys relaxing with a cup of Earl Grey and a Jane Austen novel. She also volunteers with the pro-life ministry at her parish and plays the piano and the flute. Taryn’s favorite saints are Sts. Joseph, Zélie, Thérèse, and Teresa of Calcutta. Follow Taryn on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn, or read her blog, Everyday Roses.