4 Questions to Ask During a Career Pause
“Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert” (Matthew 4:1).
Editor’s note: This Lent, the Catholic Women in Business team is exploring the theme “Cultivating Virtue in the Desert.” Learn more here.
Choosing, for a time, to do something other than what is typically considered “work” is a significant decision for a woman. She might leave work for many reasons, such as to pause between jobs, to be the primary caretaker for her children, to care for herself or for a family member during a time of illness, or to set aside time during a life transition. No matter how intentional, needed, or voluntary the decision is, a career pause is a time of adjustment.
Embracing a career pause may herald feelings of peace and even of celebration … and it may also feel desolate and empty. Leaving any job, especially without the security of advancing to another position, inevitably brings uncertainty. The discontinuation of work can leave an emptiness in its wake for anyone—but especially for a woman.
As women, we give ourselves to our work in a personal, intimate way. St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross wrote that a woman’s “natural, maternal yearning” is “to cherish, guard, protect, nourish and advance growth.” This yearning and capacity to nurture is not isolated to physical motherhood. A woman seeks to nurture in everything she does, no matter her occupation, and nurturing is an intimate act.
In his “Letter to Women,” Pope St. John Paul II boldly proclaimed that equality for women in society and in the workplace is not only just but also necessary, because women “will increasingly play a part in the solution of the serious problems of the future.” He continues, “A greater presence of women in society will prove most valuable, for it will … force systems to be redesigned in a way which favors the processes of humanization which mark the ‘civilization of love.’”
That is, women’s feminine capacity for nourishing the human person humanizes all of society. However, the truth is that this same feminine genius that makes women’s contribution to human civilization so essential can also make a woman grieve when she pauses her career.
She may ache because she feels connected to her work and to the persons she served. On the other hand, she may leave wounded, because either she or others in the workplace did not value her femininity. When a woman finds herself between ventures, she may wonder where she will find new work worthy of her self-gift.
Scripture shows, however, that barrenness is never without meaning. Countless Biblical stories of famine, infertility, and persecution are followed by abundance, fertility, and redemption. Throughout human history, God has used times of dryness to teach mankind to rely on nothing but him. In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus himself was “led by the Spirit into the desert” (emphasis added) not to be abandoned but to fulfill part of his messianic mission with fasting and prayer. The barrenness of a career pause is no different: When you enter a season of dryness, you can trust that the Holy Spirit has led you there for a purpose.
If you find yourself in the barren place between jobs, remember that this season can be difficult precisely because you were made to nourish, and God is asking you to fulfill that feminine vocation in some way other than your career. During this time, asking yourself the following questions may help point to God’s particular plan for you right now.
Where Is My Identity Rooted?
A time of barrenness challenges your sense of identity. When all is stripped away, how do you view yourself? When working, it’s easy to judge yourself by your output. However, your identity is rooted in the Love that created you, not in the summation of your daily tasks. I challenge you to repeat: “I am not a [job title/label]. I am [your name], his beloved.”
What titles, labels, and categories do I usually use to describe myself?
Do I use the stereotypes associated with the season I’m in as an excuse to avoid growing?
How much am I telling God about my life and listening to his voice in prayer?
How much time am I spending with Jesus in the Eucharist?
Am I Investing in the Right Kind of Silence and Noise?
In times of transition, it is easy for our priorities to get out of order, and we tend toward extremes, such as silence or noise. Silence, noise, and relationships are all intended to bring us closer to God, not to distract from pain.
Is there too much noise or silence in my life?
When I turn on the noise, is it an escape, or is it for leisure or education?
When I need silence, where do I go?
When is my own voice too loud?
Am I connecting enough with people in person, now that I don’t follow the same pathways I used to every day at work?
What Are My Personal and Professional Feminine Strengths?
God made you the way that you are, and he has imprinted on you, his daughter, some of his very own qualities. He loves to see them shine in you. One way he opens your eyes to the talents he has given you is by planting desires and loves in your heart.
What did I love or not love about my previous positions, paid or volunteer?
What are some things I am really good at?
What is a word (or words) that I like people to use to describe me?
What is the best compliment I have ever received?
How do I feel fulfilled from an hour’s, a day’s, a year’s work?
How Is God Asking Me to Use or Withhold My Talents?
Discerning how God is asking you to use (or not use) your unique gifts can be difficult, because it requires receptivity, humility, and trust in his providence. This question also requires you to be honest about how your talents can give glory to God. You will be happiest and most deeply content when doing his work.
Is God asking me to use my talents right now, even in a small way?
Is he asking me to let one talent fall into the background to let another talent or interest come forward?
Is he asking me to change my audience?
Is he asking me to step back into deeper silence to await his plan?
Am I thinking too much about what others think I should do?
If the Spirit has led you to the desert, he wants something for you amid the barrenness. The answers to these questions, over time, may help point to whether God is asking you to stay rooted and dig deeper into the present, to go back to former work, or to move on to new things.
God has led you to the desert, and he wants to parch your thirst. What is he whispering to you in the silence?
Alexandra Cook is a freelance writer living in northern Virginia with her husband and two children.