Take Control of Your Career Success
“You, Lord God, are truly God and your words are truth and you have made this generous promise to your servant” (2 Samuel 7:28).
Most of us have experienced feelings of disengagement and frustration with the workplace, leading us to believe that career dissatisfaction and burnout are the norm. In this situation, we often feel like the only way to gain some control is by leaving the company and going to work somewhere else—and then, sometimes, the cycle repeats itself.
Tessa White helps us understand the lies we believe about the workplace in her new book, “The Unspoken Truths for Career Success.” Known as ‘The Job Doctor,” White uses her decades-long human resources expertise with Fortune 500 companies to unpack the lies and uncover the truths of how to experience career success without constant burnout.
With each lie she dispels, White shows us that we have more control to improve our workplace situation than we might perceive. In fact, we can change how we view the workplace altogether and create a better work experience.
We Are Part of the Problem
Most of the frustration we experience at work comes from miscommunication and conflict avoidance. We lament that “My manager is a horrible communicator,” “My manager should know how I feel already,” or “I would rather be silent than viewed as a disruption” without considering our role in the matter. The truth is that employees and managers alike carry blame for the miscommunication that contributes to a frustrating workplace experience.
White writes that we frequently have “halfway conversations” with our co-workers and managers, speaking vaguely and hoping that they will understand the gist. We expect—and think—that we are all on the same page when we are working on different pages. Out of fear, we avoid speaking up and having the honest conversations that improve work satisfaction.
Most of us also have a habit of conflict avoidance. We often view conflict as an indicator that the problem lies with the other party or that we are in a win/lose situation. The truth is that conflict can be good when people are working together to solve a problem. White emphasizes the importance of word use and tone in having a “good conflict.” First, we must build trust and create safety for all by assuming good intent. Then, we can have facts-based conversations that honor one another without stewing in endless frustration.
Skill and Loyalty
Throughout her HR career, White has discovered patterns of skill sets that lead some people to advance and others to stay stagnant. She organized these skillset patterns into five stages of growth:
Doers
Achievers
Collaborators
Builders
Expanders
These skill sets build off of each other as we advance through the entry, mid-, and senior career levels. White emphasizes the importance of building good habits at the start that will evolve throughout our career. Then, because the skill that helped us reach the first career level is not the skill that will help us reach the next level, we need to use our entry-level job to build a foundation that will carry us to the mid-level and eventually to the senior level. Each career level is an opportunity for us to learn and grow our skill sets.
White drives home the point that we should never be more loyal to a company than it can be to us. Companies will take us as much as we are willing to give them. Instead of waiting for a company to return our loyalty, we must determine how much we are willing to give. We can set boundaries that benefit us, do not lead to burnout, and still leave us with personal pride in our work.
This transactional relationship with our employer is the opposite of the relationship our Lord designed for us. He does not ask us for our skill sets or loyalty; He asks us for our trust and love in Him as our Father. The Father pours Himself out to us over and over again, patiently waiting for us to receive and rest in His love and mercy. He calls us “beloved” and adores us, because He created us. Our relationship with the Father is our heart and soul’s greatest desire, and it’s important to keep that relationship above our relationship with work.
Our skill sets may advance us to the next level in our careers, but it is us choosing the Father over and over that will lead us into eternity. God does not ask for our skill sets, he asks that we use the gifts He has given us to glorify Him. He asks us to receive and be transformed by His love and mercy.
At the end of our lives, we will not ask how much we gave to our company, but how much we loved. Did we use our gifts to glorify God and share His message with others? Did we choose the Father? Our Father wants us in eternity with Him. He calls us into a relationship right now to experience a small glimpse of eternity with Him.
Applying the Truths to My Own Career
While reading this book, I was experiencing my own workplace transition. I was recently promoted, and I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed with my new responsibilities. My usual response to this kind of stress is to wonder why I said “yes” and to shut down mentally and emotionally. Reading through the truths and lies White describes helped me take a step back and view this transition with an objective mindset. Her suggestions helped put my work transition into perspective so that I could create boundaries that benefited my mentally and emotionally.
However, the best action I took during this work transition was to attend an Adoration Night. Staring at Jesus in the Monstrance, my mind was going 100 miles a minute. I could not turn my brain off, and it seemed that this time in Adoration was not doing anything to calm my anxiety. But, through God’s grace, a sense of peace later came over me as the Serenity Prayer came to mind.
Saying the words—accepting the things I can change and the things I cannot and having the wisdom to know the difference—freed me more than any workplace truth and lie could. Because nothing that happens at work can take away the truth that God is in control, that He knows the plans that He has for me, and that they are for my benefit and good (Jeremiah 29:11).
Tessa White’s “The Unspoken Truths for Career Success” breaks apart the lies of the workplace and shows us that we have more control and influence than we think. We are not passive players but active players in our own career. However, it’s important to remember that whatever success we obtain, the greatest title we have been given is “beloved” by God, the Father.
Alexandra (Alex) Harrel resides in Irving, Texas. She is a new student affairs professional within the world of higher education. In her spare time, she loves reading, listening to podcasts, and spending time outdoors. Her favorite prayer is Hail, Holy Queen. You can follow her on Instagram at @2012alexandra.