“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you—oracle of the Lord—plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).

As a military wife, mother to a one-year-old, and part-time business owner, change is part of my DNA. From navigating moves across the country to adjusting to changing nap times, I normally feel adept at adjusting to new scenarios.

However, when my husband walked into our living room and announced our newest move away from sunny Florida, I was interiorly crushed. Although I knew a move was imminent, I was not expecting the actual news to disappoint, instead of excite, me. I immediately began to grieve the loss of finally formed friendships, the nearness of our parish, and the comfort of our home.

Several weeks into the news, I began to contemplate the Holy Family’s flight to Egypt while praying the Seven Sorrows of Mary Chaplet. I pondered Mary’s reaction as Joseph shook her awake to share his dream and urge her to begin packing (Matthew 2:13-15). Had she finally been feeling settled in the place where Christ was born? Was she so used to her surroundings that the thought of leaving to a foreign land was terrifying? Did she clutch Jesus to her breast as she rode on the donkey, whispering to Him “peace,” even though she did not feel it in her heart?

Praying for Guidance

As I imagined Mary’s mixed feelings, I began to speak to her of our own upcoming move. I prayed for the grace to accept God’s will despite its not being my own and to trust in His timing.

I received a sense of encouragement to be open with my husband about my unhappiness of our impending move, despite his own excitement. When I finally did voice my true feelings, I felt relief from being honest, and my husband received my thoughts well. Soon, my anxiety about the change began to fade, and I began to feel curious about our new location. I started looking up local attractions, daydreaming of what life will be like there.

Understanding the Process of Change

In the realm of workplace change, social psychologist Dr. Jerald Jellison coined the concept of the “J Curve,” which is a pattern that helps people and organizations “manage how they manage change.”

According to Jellison’s research, there are five stages of change:

1. The Static Quo

At this stage, the individual or team has been operating under normal circumstances. They have routines and are comfortable. However, as the change is announced and then approaches, fear, anger, and self-doubt erupt as people begin to question why they must change and are hostile to the idea of things being different.

2. Taking the Plunge

Once the new initiative or action has begun, there are feelings of panic and frustration from constant failure, as well as a desire to leave the situation as people try new things and stumble. Performance declines; pessimism grows; and phrases like, “I knew this was a mistake” or, “I’ll never learn how to do this” become the norm.

3. Bottoming Out

As people reach the valley, they still experience some discouragement as they try the new process or system and experience some setbacks. However, they are becoming more infrequent. Overall, knowledge of the new process and procedure is increasing, and there is a sense of relief that “maybe I can, sort of, do this.”

4. Gaining Control

At this stage, confidence increases as performance improves and people integrate new skills and processes. People begin to feel a sense of pleasure and say things like, “This isn’t so bad” or, “This is kind of fun.”

5. Mastery

Momentum increases. Eventually, everyone reaches the mountaintop and feels a sense of joy and validation. They’ve crossed the original plateau, and phrases like, “This old dog can learn new tricks” or, “Why did I wait so long” ring out. 

Helping Others Accelerate Through Change

By understanding this process, individuals and managers can help themselves or others accelerate movement through the change. Instead of relying on over-communication or persuasion to navigate the change, Jellison recommends:

• Breaking the change into small steps.

• Making it safe to make mistakes.

• Making it easy to start by removing obstacles.

• Front-loading the benefits to help people persist during the most challenging times.

• Empathizing with negative reactions and feelings throughout the process.

Encouragement, praise, raising goals slowly, and being empathetic throughout the process will help others try new things and adjust to this new, but better, norm.

Knowing these stages as we prepare for our move eight months from now will help me anticipate the feelings my husband and I will experience once we begin the process. I know we will make mistakes as we adjust to a new city (and as he adjusts to a new job) and that we (I) will want to move back to Florida. But, with steadfastness, much prayer, and encouragement, we will be in a better place than where we started.

Valentina Imhoff, MBA is a career coach helping women encounter God through their work. She has lived and worked in 6 countries and has over 10 years of experience in a variety of industries. In addition to coaching, she facilitates Called & Gifted workshops to help others discern their charisms. Her greatest loves are her husband, son, and trying new recipes in the kitchen. Connect with Valentina at fiatcareercoaching.com, or tune into her podcast on YouTube, Apple Podcasts or Spotify.