Holy Habits: A How-To Guide for this Lent
“Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10)
Lent. If you’re like the average Catholic woman, you have a love-hate relationship with this purple, penitential season. The word alone can stir great ambivalence: a time of life-giving conversion and change, which comes at the expense of sacrifice and discomfort. Why do we do this? Why do we willfully engage in these 40 days of carrying a chosen “cross?”
We Catholics are not masochists. If you’ve ever seen a grade school All Saints Day parade (adorable, by the way) or heard “Joy to the World” at the close of Christmas Mass, you can attest to the fact that we love to celebrate. Still, the Church’s Tradition calls us to choose hard things during Lent so we can locate our precise point of surrender.
But surrendering is scary – it can feel like a freefall. It involves stepping into the unknown and trusting that you will not just survive, but be better for the leap of faith. So if we’re going to surrender, we want to do so with some confidence that it is for the good. Enter Ascension’s new program “Crux: A Lenten Journey of Surrender” (“crux” is Latin for “cross”).
When I first learned about “Crux”’s four pillars of daily physical exercise, a dietary fast, daily reading of Scripture, and a nightly Examen, my honest response was “I want these in my life ALWAYS!” These practices speak to our minds, bodies and souls. They are foundational disciplines that will increasingly orient us toward the Lord who loves us.
Admittedly, these daily commitments are going to challenge me and my husband, Pat, who also agreed to be an ambassador for “Crux” this Lent. Thankfully we’ll have Fr. Columba Jordan, CFR providing insightful videos on the Ascension app to encourage us on the journey.
But as the dust settled on my initial enthusiasm, the question entered my mind: How on earth will I fit all of this in? As a mom of seven (ages 15 to 5), as a therapist and business owner, and as someone who doesn’t describe herself as “having a ton of free time,” I had to seriously consider how my disciplines can fit into an already brimming schedule.
Habit Stacking
We Catholic women in business are likely familiar with the concept of hooking a new habit onto an existing habit. It’s a strategy with strong success rates so I’m employing it this Lent. My physical exercise commitment will be to make a “Heroic Minute” (a term coined by St. Josemaría Escrivá for getting out of bed at the sound of the first alarm–no snooze buttons welcome) and then hit the treadmill or free weights each morning. I already have the habit of waking to an alarm (with an undisclosed number of snooze button smashings) and eventually getting to the basement for a workout. But this Lent I am going to commit to hopping out of bed immediately and starting the day strong.
Technology
I hate to admit it – because I’m a professed Luddite – but my phone alarms keep me on track. Especially when I’m trying to develop a new discipline. Taking vitamins, docking my phone in the kitchen for the night, putting in the weekly grocery order: there’s an alarm for everything! Well, there’s a new kid in town this Lent: an alarm to remind me about my daily Examen. I have always wanted to make this a spiritual practice – to review my day with the Lord and be more attentive to His Will tomorrow – and I’m excited that “Crux” will challenge me to convert that hope into a habit.
Visual Cues
Another “Crux” commitment is spending time in God’s Word each day. Placing my Bible on my nightstand (after I clear all of the unread books and coloring pages that currently live there) will be the visible reminder I need. Even if it’s only ten minutes, I trust that the Holy Spirit will allow me to drink deeply when I choose to prioritize the Scriptures. I’ll still have other fiction and fun reading during the season, but positioning my Bible in a highly visible place will make it far more likely for me to read and pray each night. And when that visual cue isn’t enough, I’ll have the “Crux” ambassadors’ videos popping up on the Ascension app and on Instagram to help me get back in the saddle.
Though Lent gets a bad rap for being all sackcloth and ashes, the truth is that we need this season. Lent is designed for us because God loves us and He isn’t finished yet. He sees there are ways we can become more fully ourselves. He wants our ultimate joy and fulfillment, but first He’s got some refining to do. It’s going to take surrendering. It’s going to take doing things that bring us face to face with our limits, that edge where we are out of human strength and we must call upon the Lord.
We can choose this Lent as the time our lives will be transformed by His love and mercy. Our human efforts – the alarms we set, the visual cues we place, the habits we attempt – are seen by Him and He will supplement where we are weak.
Join us in Ascension’s “Crux” program so we can share in St. Paul’s proclamation: “for when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Cor 12:10)
Kenna Milea, MA, LMFT and her husband Pat run a mental health clinic together in Minnesota, martincenterforintegration.com. They also host their weekly podcast, while at the same time parenting seven amazing children! They know what it's like to deal with family responsibilities while trying to have a fruitful Lent and are excited to share their experiences and insights as they participate in Ascension’s Crux: A Lenten Journey of Surrender. The Crux challenge includes a Surrender Journal and resources for Daily Lenten Meditations.
