Defining (Your) Success
We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Building a successful business does not look the same for everyone. The illusion that it should has led many of my clients down paths of frustration and anxiety. If running your own business makes you feel more trapped than you did in your day job, I might suggest that you are doing it wrong.
Classical versus Modern Definitions of Success
Success is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as, “The achievement of a desired result or outcome; the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” When considering this definition, the first question would be whose desired outcome or whose aim or purpose? I infer that person to be the one pursuing the goal or attempting a task. If that is the case, then shouldn’t success be extremely personal and individualized?
At some point, the definition of success began to change; the Britannica definition is “the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame.” Even in my own journey of entrepreneurship, I struggled with how my business was perceived by others, deferring my own sense of accomplishment to the cultural standards.
I did not have a store front, nor did I have employees. My bank account never broke $500,000, and aside from a few podcast interviews, the cloak of fame never darkened my door! Did this mean I was not successful? Perhaps to some, but I needed to remind myself regularly that my parameters of success were different, and I kept myself committed to that version.
When I first started out my career as a consultant in direct sales, I heard a woman speak to this topic in a rather humorous way, and it has stuck with me. She said that her well-meaning friends kept asking her if she was still “shlepping” her products, feeling sorry for her unfortunate position, all the while not realizing that her annual income exceeded $750,000. That’s not bad shlepping!
Her friends assumed she was struggling because she didn’t have a “real” business that bore the markings of success; and yet there are many business owners with a shop, employees, and their own “shingle out front” who have tremendous debt and feel trapped in their “dream” of owning their own business.
There is evidence that this trend is changing, but many women still find themselves stuck in false expectations and wondering why they are not fulfilled in the work they felt called to pursue.
Creating Personalized Success
I require all new clients to tackle this head-on and outline an individualized success map. The first question is “What are your non-negotiables?” What are those things that no matter what happens in the pursuit of success, you would never want to jeopardize? For many women those things may be marriage, family, or personal health of mind and body. Those are all great things, but in order to ensure they are not compromised, they must become more precise.
I will not make phone calls while my children are in the car with me.
I will not allow work to interfere with family meals.
I will make date night a priority over new client meetings.
I will set boundaries for office hours.
These are a few suggestions of more specific non-negotiables. They seem simple enough. The true test comes when you find yourself short on income and a prospective client wants to meet with you during your son’s soccer game.
Building a successful business is not only about making more money, finding more clients, selling more product, or getting the top name recognition. A truly successful business achieves harmony amid everything that is most important.
There is a line in the movie Jerry Maguire where Jerry’s client Rod Tidwell tells Jerry he is seeking the “quan.” It means more than just the money. It means love, respect, and money. For this character, success meant those three things. We each must determine the ingredients that create our meaning of quan.
Resting in the Outcome
Ultimately, as Catholic women in business, we know and believe that our lives are surrendered to our Creator and Lord. He determines our value, and it may or may not look successful by worldly standards. Of course God does bless some with worldly success, but His measurement recognizes internals not externals.
If we consider Jesus’ worldly accomplishments during His time, He would be considered a failure. He did not overthrow Roman oppression and He died a humiliating and gruesome death. His powerful, eternal, and glorious success can only be interpreted through the eyes of God and those who believe! Our greatest glory would be to share in just a sliver of that success.
We must surrender our plans, our dreams, our businesses, and our lives into the Hands of the One who knows best. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus, in His humanity, asks the Father for what He wants, that this cup be removed from Him, but ultimately He surrenders to the will of the Father (Luke 22:42).
A client of mine was building a very successful practice. As a single mom, her time and resources were even more restricted than others, and she felt such a burden to provide financially that she allowed her non-negotiables to be compromised. She was working six, sometimes seven days a week, always making exceptions to her boundaries. She pursued expansion because it gave the appearance of greater success; however her body and mind were exhausted, and her spirit was depleted. By simply restructuring her business to align with her most important values, she regained a sense of joy in her business and returned to her original vision of what success would look like for her.
Find your path, the one that God desires for you. Work hard at what is before you, never compromise yourself, and rest in the results that your work provides, trusting that it – and you – are enough.
Laryn Weaver is a Catholic writer and speaker whose current focus is a ministry of availability and prayer. Her greatest joys are her marriage, her adult children, and her six grandbabies! Find out more about Laryn at larynweaver.com