Dealing with Tricky Clients
Let’s face it, we encounter all kinds of personalities in business. Thankfully, most clients are pleasant to work with, but there are times when a more difficult client crosses our path and puts our value system to the test. Practicing patience, kindness, and mercy seems all but impossible. God uses challenging people to make us better disciples and, through us, shows the world another way to respond. Other people’s negative behavior isn’t an excuse to forget in whose footsteps we follow.
Jesus encountered difficult people all the time — Pharisees, Roman soldiers, religious leaders, skeptics, and unrepentant sinners. Let’s look at three business scenarios and, using the context of the Gospels, explore ways to respond that model our Lord while still remaining business-savvy.
Scenario #1: The Demanding Client
Within the relationship of service provider and client, there is an understanding. For an agreed-upon price, the provider supplies the client with a product or service. This sounds straightforward, but as some projects unfold, more work may be required to achieve what the client really wants. They may want to see more options or need further research and expect you to gather it. They may change the due date or involve more people, delaying the project’s momentum. This invasion of boundaries is referred to as “scope creep,” meaning these new things the client wants creep beyond the initial agreement.
A reasonable amount of this is expected. We may choose to comply with a request that falls in a gray area of responsibility. Other times, clients may ask you to complete tasks that weren’t included in the original agreement. You are working without compensation.
A 2025 Forbes article described scope creep as “a project that has uncontrolled due dates, deadlines, and budgets after the project has begun.” Their research found that as many as 28% of projects experience scope creep even when proper planning, boundary-setting, and increased communication are used. That tells us there’s no magic bullet to keep demanding clients from asking for more than is reasonable.
If it’s something small that can be done in less than 15 minutes, you may not find it’s worth the time to draft an amendment for additional compensation. However, if they’re asking for something more time-intensive, this is an opportunity to hold your boundary and have a frank discussion. Explain your position to the client. There’s a good chance they don’t realize what they’re doing. Once they understand that the additional work will increase the cost, they can decide whether they want you to do it or do it themselves (or ask a member of their team to do it). In this situation, you’ve communicated well and protected your time. You may even gain more of their respect for sticking up for yourself.
Unfortunately, it may not always go well when you bring up scope creep to a client who tends to be defensive or combative, or who expresses big emotions. If you’re not careful, these minor disagreements can quickly escalate into serious conflicts. The client may not be a good listener, see your perspective, or interpret the contract language the way you do. They may need to move the due date. No matter the reason, the best tool here is communication. In this instance, you might ask for a rush fee to compensate for the shortened timeline, or there may be another way to benefit. You could ask them to post a positive review about your business on their social media or refer one of their influential clients to you.
Other times, you may be faced with the difficult task of saying no. The conversation then shifts to workarounds or pivots, which may include severing the partnership.
It seems that the desire to want more from a person even after they’ve given adequately is something even Jesus dealt with. In Mark 8:11-13, a Pharisee tests Jesus, asking him for a sign from heaven. Jesus’s response is priceless. Scripture tells us, “[Jesus] sighed deeply and said, ‘Why does this generation ask for a sign? Truly I tell you, no sign will be given to it.’ Then he left them….”Jesus had already done so much! He’d performed miracles and healings, signs and wonders. The Pharisees wanted another irrefutable display, but Jesus refused to be made a spectacle.
We learn from Jesus the power in the word “no.” It can feel risky or confrontational to give a firm, decisive response like this, but as many experts say, “You teach people how to treat you.” If you allow a client to take more than contractually stated without offering some compensation – be it financial or otherwise – you are allowing them to steal your assets.
As women, we are naturally attuned to sense when someone is reaching for more than is being offered. Be the one who has the courage to name it. Be calm, brief, and sincere. If the situation calls for it, be like Jesus, say no, and then walk away.
Scenario #2: The Manipulative Client
I’ve had the privilege for over three decades to work with all kinds of clients: humble overachievers, thoughtful sages, wise entrepreneurs, and highly successful people who are also master manipulators. For the record, not all highly successful people are manipulators – not all manipulators are highly successful 一 but when you combine these two traits, the situation can be combustible.
We are all wounded by life experiences. It’s unavoidable. One way we cope with our insecurities is by forming defense mechanisms. These traits can become part of our personalities, deeply embedded from some kind of trauma (small “t” or capital “T”). This isn’t to excuse hurtful behavior, but it helps explain why some people act irrationally.
Jesus met many manipulators in his time on earth. Religious authorities would try to trap Jesus by asking questions they hoped would result in him contradicting himself, the Jewish law, or the Hebrew scriptures. These men were the spiritual leaders of God’s chosen people, yet many resorted to deception, word-twisting, and hypocrisy because they were threatened by Jesus’ identity as the Son of God. They tried to manipulate the crowds to reject Jesus.
How did Jesus engage with them? He was honest and called them out. In Matthew 23, he tells the people to listen to the religious leaders but not to do what they do. “They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.”
One of the ways Jesus determined the merit of a person’s actions was by “reading” their heart. Since we don’t have this superpower, we can look at the outcome of the person’s actions. In Luke 6:44, we read, “For every tree is known by its own fruit.” Your client may be highly successful, but that doesn’t mean the fruit tastes good. Are products being manufactured on the backs of underage children, in warehouses with inadequate safety measures? Do the products threaten the sanctity of life or objectify a person?
In a business situation, when you feel a client may be trying to manipulate you, consider the following suggestions:
1. Listen to your gut. If you feel like the person you’re engaging with is making decisions that cut you out or put more on you, turning your words back on you, or lending meaning to words that were never your intention, they are likely trying to manipulate you.
2. Keep notes on the situation. These notes help you build a case to convince yourself and others because later, you’ll question whether the person was actually doing what you suspected. One or two times may be a fluke, but if the list keeps growing, odds are high you aren’t just imagining things.
3. Think about a boundary you can establish or reestablish that you then say aloud when you feel the client pushing up against that line. I once repeated the statement: “I’m available from 8-5, Monday through Friday,” when a particular client would text me at all hours or call me on a Sunday. The contract was clear when and how to contact me, but they didn’t believe that included them.
I have a lot of return clients, and when I’ve worked with a manipulator, I always leave myself a note that says: “I will not work with this person again no matter what.” I do this because the chances are high that in the future, they’ll reach back out and offer a lot of money, and I’ll think, “They weren’t really that bad.” It’s not worth the toll manipulation takes on our bodies and minds. There are people to partner with who won’t mistreat you. Partner with good people.
Scenario #3: The Power-Centric Client
The final personality that can be tricky to work with is the person who is always playing a game over who has the power. Since the dawn of time, humans have wrestled with power. Some say it’s the root of all evil, the cause of wars, and the reason for societal disparity. Power is like the ring in Tolkien’s classic series “The Lord of the Rings.” It reduces a person to their most vile selves – as evidenced by the character Gollum.
It’s not likely you’ll be sitting on a Zoom call with Gollum anytime soon, but in modern-day boardrooms, power is measured by a person’s title, and it can still be a person’s undoing. The distance between you and the CEO is a measurement of how much power you have within the company. The closer you are, the more money you make. Working with clients who are the power-holders in their businesses and communities doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship will be challenging, but when someone advertises the hierarchy and expects things to happen because of it, partnerships can get tricky.
For example, I once heard the story of a manager who was waiting on an important communication from someone to come through by fax (yes, this was 20 years ago but the story illustrates the point well) and around 5 p.m., the manager came out and told his assistant, “I’m going to need you to stay here and receive the fax, then call me and let me know what it says.” The assistant said, “Okay, but I have tickets tonight to see the hockey game downtown.” The manager paused, rubbed his hands together, then said, “Listen, I thought we were on a team. That means we sometimes have to make sacrifices. I’m really sorry you have plans, but I need you to stay for this fax. A lot is riding on it.” The assistant stayed and, the next day, recounted this to some of us in the office, who, I will admit, never looked at this manager the same way. He saw leadership as a top-down enterprise. He was given the authority, and those under him would do as they were told. Period.
It reminds me of the Sons of Thunder, James and John. In Luke 22:24-27, we read how they wanted to be considered the greatest among the apostles. Before we judge them too quickly, being Jesus’ favorite is something I, too, wanted early in my Christian walk. It was years before I realized being others-focused was the better way to model Jesus. Jesus says, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules, like the one who serves” (v 25-26).
Having power is not sinful. But seeking power for its own sake is incongruent with living like Jesus. Jesus, who had every reason to exalt himself among men, chose instead to serve, to wash his followers’ feet, and to die a vicious death, naked and bloody on a cross, the execution tool of choice for those whom Rome wanted to humiliate.
When clients try to lord their power over you, you have a choice. Victor Frankl famously wrote, “Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness." I believe that in that space also lies our sanctification.
How you choose to respond shapes the person you are becoming. What will you choose? Will you be offended and try to regain power? Will you cower and act demure? Will you comply and then complain to others, victimizing yourself?
Before you answer, consider this. Inside the soul of every baptized person is the indwelling of God. GOD! All knowing, all powerful. He created the galaxies, the oceans, and the genetic code for human life. We live in a world where others seek to have power over us, not just at work but in relationships. When we give that power to someone else 一 who is as flawed and damaged as we are 一 we are subject to their imperfect choices. This goes for managers, spouses, friendships, and parent-child relationships. The greatest gift we can give ourselves and the people we engage with is to allow them to own their power rather than impose it on others. Jesus didn’t overpower his disciples. He didn’t overpower Pilate or Caiaphas, though he could have. He didn’t take on Rome. He worked and lived within the human system, but he kept his eyes focused on the true source of all power: His Father.
We can do that too. When we work with clients who challenge us, remember, we have a choice. What we choose can either force us to hit the confessional before Sunday or it can be what sanctifies us. One is more painful than the other, that’s true, but we experience pain all the time. At least this pain has an eternal benefit.
As Catholics in the workplace, we are given an opportunity to exercise hard spiritual challenges by engaging difficult clients with integrity. Other people are watching. Our Lord is watching, and believe me, he knows the stress we are carrying. He gets it; He met some real characters in his three years of public ministry. When we model Jesus in the way we handle difficult people, we become bearers of his message. Others will observe our behavior, and some who don’t know the Lord may be attracted to learn more about him. We can be a light that shines on the One we follow.
Prayer: Jesus, dealing with difficult clients is nothing compared to what you endured, yet it’s still hard. When I’m talked down to, ignored, not backed by my team, or afraid to confront, help me remember you. You know how this feels, and you are with me in my situation. Give me the fortitude to reflect you to the world, especially in those times when it’s the last thing I want to do. The more I can do things the way you did them, the closer to you I become. And I want that more than anything else. In your Holy Name, Amen.
Natalie Hanemann is the founder of Be/Wilder Writer, LLC, a company exploring the intersection of creativity, wilderness, and spirituality. Since 2000, Natalie has worked in book publishing as an acquisitions editor, developmental editor, and ghostwriter. In 2024, Natalie expanded her business to include her love of the outdoors through retreats and meditative adventures. Learn more at www.youbewilder.com.