The Cost of Getting Quiet… and Why It’s Worth It
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things (Philippians 4:8).
Let’s Talk About Leisure
Everywhere I look on the Catholic interwebs the past few weeks, I see one major theme: leisure, or purposeful and restorative rest for our bodies and souls. From Pope Leo XIV to my favorite Substack writers to witty reels on Instagram, we are suddenly laser focused on leisure time.
Catholic influencers who focus on nurturing mind, body, and soul have soared in popularity. Look no further than the adorable Dominican nuns who have endeared themselves to the public to the point that we are now having what social media is calling a “Nun Girl Summer.” My take on why they are wildly popular? They live with intention. They focus their hearts on God and communion with each other, and the crazy joy that results is contagious.
Personally, I’m here for it. We are noticing something very important about human beings: we can’t function well without purposeful and intentional rest and restoration. Perhaps you have noticed these themes around cultivating better rest for ourselves, too:
We need to detox from our technology.
We need to focus on wellness: exercise, good food, and movement.
We were made for more than staring at screens.
This theme first piqued my interest about a year ago when I was on a trip with my husband. I noticed that the hotel we were staying at featured a multipage glossy article in its magazine that highlighted an “International Analog Wellness Retreat” held there. There were many activities, some of which included: exercising on the beach and watching the sunrise, walking barefoot in nature, and spending quality time sharing meals without phones. The article proudly touted the restorative benefits of taking this time to gaze at the sun, touch grass, and converse with other humans.
“Wait. Are they serious? People spent money to simply be in the world without their phone? I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I was stunned at the notion that we have lost the plot so much that we have seemingly forgotten how to live, move, and breathe in spaces without technology present.
But then again, should I really be so surprised? Granted, I am a die-hard introvert. Being quiet and seeking stillness is a valuable part of my mental, emotional, and spiritual journey. We don’t need to be introverts to appreciate and cultivate holy spaces of quiet in our lives. There is so much noise in our world 一 toxic noise 一 that deafens us, diminishes our capacity to be still and hear the voice of God, and robs us of the breathing room necessary to appreciate the world around us. I strongly believe there is a direct correlation between getting quiet and cultivating wholeness and holiness in our lives.
Wholeness Fills the Soul
When we spend time, intentionally, making eye contact and sharing our thoughts, dreams, stories, and sufferings with a cherished friend, something happens to our brains and bodies. I’m not even going to dig up research on this because I believe so strongly that we all feel this deep in our bones. Think about the last time you spent even just a few minutes in a soul-filling conversation with a friend with no screen in sight.
After this encounter, I am willing to bet that you felt a rush of peace and joy that flooded your heart and soul. This is the wholeness of being part of the body of Christ: sisters and brothers whose friendships edify and bless our very real human experiences. Truly, we are made for incarnational moments. Christ most certainly witnessed this when he gave us the Eucharist 一 His own precious Body and Blood 一 over and over at each Mass, so that we can live, move, and have our being in Him.
In our personal and professional lives, we will find peace elusive if we can’t make space for integrated wholeness. We work at a pace that was unheard of just 30 years ago, when work was done at the office and being home for the evening meant a real respite from the stresses of our jobs. We ate a meal, talked with our families, and watched a television show 一 all without the temptation of emails and social media at our fingertips. Today, “work life balance” is more challenging than ever given that “work” is never more than a tap away and “life” can easily be avoided by numbing out on that little screen.
Be Still and Know
Just as intentional time with others nurtures our wholeness, intentional time in quiet and stillness nurtures our holiness. When we sit in stillness, we notice things. Birds chirping. Machines humming. A slight headache or sense of anxiety we’ve been carrying through our day. Tension in our neck, shoulders, back. As we notice the physical things around us as our bodies quiet, we also notice the interior thoughts that are kept at bay when we are busy, busy, busy consuming the world’s noise.
Being still with God allows us a safe space to process it all with Him, the ultimate Healer. The enemy knows just how deadly those little screens in our pockets are to our spiritual health. There is a reason that we call the mindless activity of watching reel after reel on Instagram “doomscrolling.” The screens keep us restless, agitated, distracted, and surface level in our thoughts and actions. On the contrary, quiet stillness, whether in nature, prayer, or our hearts, draws us deep to the places God wants to meet us and fill our cup.
Being quiet means abiding by the simple, powerful, and humbling words of St. John the Baptist. “He must increase, I must decrease” (John 3:30).
Made for More
My sisters in Christ, we are made for more. Technology has given us absolutely stunning and unimaginable access to tools that allow for connection, creativity, and collaboration. I could have never imagined today’s world when I was a little kid growing up in the ‘80s, chasing the ice cream truck down the street on my banana seat bike on a warm summer day. Nostalgia always tends to sugar coat our memories, but I swear it was just simpler back then. It was easier. Looking back, it truly felt as if our days were permeated with a lavish sense of freedom.
Never would I have imagined that my future self would need reminders to do the things that I would’ve simply called “living,” like playing with friends, sitting in the sun, or reading a good book.
So what to do about all of this technology-saturated junk that clogs our hearts and minds? Well, I am not a life coach or a sociologist, but I would bet that if we just put down the phones and made time and space 一 for God and for each other 一 we might find a level of soul-rest that bears more fruit than we could’ve dreamed, even as a kid in the ‘80s.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Google where to find the nearest ice cream truck.
Alli Koscal is a Catholic wife, mom to seven, author, and the voice behind Finding Havens. She recently published her first book, a bible study titled Love and Loyalty: Heart Lessons from the Book of Ruth. For more information on Alli’s ministry, writing, speaking and more, visit allikoscal.com or follow her on Instagram @findinghavens7.