3 Communication Mistakes That Can Hurt Your Career
“We do not define ourselves as men or as women through our work, our house, our health, or our reputation. We define ourselves as men and women through the way we love” (Servant of God Chiara Corbella Petrillo).
It happens to the best of us.
Recently, I snapped at a co-worker and let out everything I had been wanting to say for weeks. It felt like we were in a constant battle: I provided something for him to complete, and when he didn’t complete it accurately, I felt like I was the one who was blamed. We were in a vicious cycle, becoming frustrated with one another because we both thought we were right, and then, instead of being direct, we let it build up with passive-aggressive comments.
So, I felt like I had enough when he made another passive-aggressive comment, and I snapped.
Should I have snapped? Definitely not. Nothing I said was untruthful, but I did apologize later for the way I expressed my frustrations.
Has this ever happened to you? How did it impact your working relationship and your job? There are many mistakes we can make in our communications at work. Here are three to keep a special eye out for and try to avoid.
Being Passive-aggressive
Are you guilty of being passive aggressive, if only occasionally? In the digital era we live in, it sometimes feels like the easiest way to be direct. Having an actual conversation with someone means being vulnerable, and we are often a little intimidated to confront the issue head-on. But being passive-aggressive only leads to confusion, a lack of understanding of the task at hand, and frustration with both parties on the giving and receiving end of the passive-aggressive remarks.
Why is it so difficult to be direct with people? We can make all of the “per my last email” remarks we want, but what we really want to say is, “I actually provided this information already, and I believe you are mistaken.” We often spend so much time dwelling on the frustrations of working with other human beings that we forget it’s OK to be honest. It’s fine — even better — to be as direct as possible, as long as there is no ill-will or hate behind our words.
When I need to send an email that is candid, and I’m afraid of coming across as impolite, I try to remind myself that, objectively, there is a job to do. I need to be as clear as possible so I don’t create or exacerbate confusion or frustration. Aren’t we looking to live authentically? Covering up my message with a facade of “niceness” is inauthentic.
Neglecting Follow-up Conversations
When I am assigned to a task — an email campaign, a new brochure, social media content — I typically have 21 questions before I begin. What is apparent to one person, such as a project manager, might not be apparent to another person, such as a copywriter.
I used to think asking follow-up questions made me seem uneducated or like I didn’t understand the task at hand, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. Asking questions helps keep you from making avoidable mistakes and gives you a more thorough understanding of how you can make an assignment or a project go from mundane to exceptional. It gives you the opportunity to find a unique or creative twist to make your colleague, manager, or client happy to work with you.
Saying “Yes” When You Should Say “No”
It’s easy to be a “yes woman.” When someone needs a last-minute favor, when your project’s deadline was pushed up without your knowledge … Regardless of the situation, it’s easy to be so accommodating of everyone else's needs that you forget to put your priorities first.
It is OK to be assertive and say no if you feel that something is not just or not for the good of the team or the organization. Just because someone asks a favor of you or pushes something onto your already full plate does not mean you need to accept. In fact, this situation creates an opportunity for you and your colleague to have a healthy conversation about expectations and boundaries. It allows you to stick up for yourself and let your later “Yeses” be even more powerful!
These have all been struggles of mine throughout many points in my professional life, and they still try to creep in every now and then. There are plenty of mistakes to avoid when it comes to communicating at work, and your struggles probably look very different from mine. What matters the most is that we don’t let our communication with others stunt our personal, professional, and spiritual growth.
Colleen Godinez is a marketing copywriter for a mid-size membership organization in Kansas City. She graduated from Kansas State University with a BS in psychology and a minor in journalism and mass communication. In her spare time, she enjoys freelance writing and helping other organizations propel their brand. She has learned to appreciate the little things in life and soaks up every moment she can with her little girl and husband. Depending on the time of day, coffee and wine are her drinks of choice. You can follow her onFacebook or Instagram.