Harnessing the Power of Self-care During Advent and Christmas

“In the twilight of life, God will not judge us on our earthly possessions and human successes, but on how well we have loved” (St. John of the Cross).

What does your life look like starting in Advent through Christmas? My guess is that these last few weeks of the year are filled with attending Advent teas, going to Christmas parties, sending Christmas cards, finding the perfect gift for everyone on your list, decorating your home, and maybe coming home with one too many odd white elephant gifts. Ideally, we’re also making time to reflect on the meaning of Christ’s birth during this time. And, on top of all of this, we need to keep up with all of our usual daily responsibilities, both in our personal and our professional lives. That’s a tall order, which makes for many opportunities to be stressed.

This time of year tends to be a busy season for me, work-wise: The holidays (including Thanksgiving and Christmas) can be emotionally stressful times for many people, whether they are struggling due to family issues, mental health (like seasonal depression), or another reason. My psychotherapy practice schedule is booked solid, and I don’t have many hours to spare to focus on holiday preparations. Instead of wishing for more hours in the day, I try to double-down my focus on self-care — not only to manage my stress levels but also so that I can be fully present for my clients, who are working on their own struggles and challenges during the holidays.

Though your line of work may be different than mine, you are likely experiencing a similar combination of lack of time and never-ending to-do list. No wonder the Advent and Christmas seasons can be such a stressful, instead of joyful, time of year.

If left unchecked, stress can not only impact your ability to focus on what really matters during the holidays but also negatively affect your physical, mental, and emotional health for the long term. This means that managing stress and practicing self-care are essential to ensuring that you can make the most of the beautiful seasons of Advent and Christmas. In theory, we know we should try to avoid getting swept up in the holiday rush and the consumerism of gift-giving and decorating, but what does it look like in real life?

Here are a few ways I’m practicing self-care and managing stress this Christmas season:

Focus on What Self-care Means to You

One of the biggest misconceptions that I talk about in my book, “It’s OK to Start with You,” is that self-care is a selfish and quick-fix approach to well-being and stress management. This is a common but very narrow understanding of self-care. A more authentic definition of self-care is any activity or practice that is promotes your well-being and is restorative for you. For me, it looks like going for a run a few mornings each week, going to bed at a decent hour, and making time to read or journal at the end of the day. This combination goes a long way to help me feel like I am actively managing stress and promoting my own well-being.

While journaling may not be your thing, or you might prefer pilates over running, try to identify which activities help you feel restored and rejuvenated. Think about the things you like to do that energize you or help you feel peaceful. These activities are your personal self-care strategies. Forget about what someone else is doing for self-care, and focus only on what works for you. Sure, your co-worker might love getting up an hour early to power through an intense workout, but if that’s only going to add stress to your day, it isn’t the best form of self-care for you. Stick to what works for you during this busy time of year, and make room for these types of activities in your daily schedule to help you combat stress and make the most of Advent and Christmas.

Maintain Perspective

There are so many great ways to live out Advent and to celebrate Christmas, whether it’s having an Advent wreath, calendar, or Jesse tree or celebrating the twelve Days of Christmas. They are all wonderful, but they can quickly turn into sources of stress rather than the sources of joy that they are intended to be. To help keep these traditions from becoming stressful, it’s helpful to remind yourself to maintain perspective. What is this season about for you? For us as Catholics and Christians, this time of year is about reflecting on God’s faithfulness throughout history and the wondrous mystery of His entering our lives as a little baby, born in a manager, come to save the world.

When times become stressful, remind yourself what Advent and Christmas are really about. Then, focus your attention and energy on the traditions and activities that help you honor them. In a practical way, it could look like forgoing Christmas cards this year if it means spending more time (in person) with your family. Or, it could look like paring down on the number of gifts you give in order to keep the focus off of consumerism. Remind yourself of the “why” for the things you do this time of year. If something doesn’t fit with that “why,” ask yourself why you are choosing to give your time and energy to it.

Prioritize

Finally, make time in your day to do the things that bring you the most joy during this season. For example, make time for a daily Advent reflection or to sit by your tree and soak in Christmas music. We only have a few weeks every year to take in the fresh scent of pine in our homes and to listen to classic and beloved Christmas carols. Think about what you love about this time of year, and make them a priority. Think of these things as Christmas-themed self-care activities. The key is to identify them as priorities and treat them as such in your day. If you don’t, the chances of their falling to the wayside are high, and you will likely miss out on participating in the activities that make the holidays “holy days” for you. On the other hand, if you identify them as priorities and make time for them during this season, you will be giving yourself the gift of being present to what really matters this time of year.

Julia Hogan, LCPC is a counselor in Chicago and owner of Vita Optimum Counseling & Consulting, LLC. She also leads workshops and writes on topics related to self-care, relationships and mental health. Her book, “It's Ok to Start with You,” is all about the power of embracing your authentic self through self-care. She is passionate about empowering individuals to be their most authentic selves. You can find more of her writing online at juliamariehogan.com.