Keeping Your Identity While Being a Working Mom

“The good Lord does not do things by halves; He always gives what we need. Let us, then, carry on bravely” (St. Zelie Martin).

For years, I had envisioned a life of staying at home with my children and raising them — taking them to the park, to the library, out on special adventures, etc. Staying at home was never an option for our family, however, due to student loans, a mortgage, and a growing family. Working was the financially smart decision.

During our time in quarantine, I realized how much of my identity was rooted in who I felt I was as a professional. It took me years to finally become secure and confident in my role as a woman in the workplace. I had found my voice, I had found my niche as a marketer, and with the help of so many female role models over the years, I realized the dignity in my work. During my time home this year, I made the conscious decision that unless God plans otherwise, I will always be working to some capacity.

Fast-forward four months after the lockdown: After careful consideration and many discussions with my husband, we decided that having both of us work full time and pay for two children to attend daycare full time was not an option. I received an incredible opportunity to add more freelance hours to my schedule, which allowed me to leave my full time job and work part-time as a freelancer. October is my third month of juggling both work and kids, and I have developed some ideas about how it’s possible to keep my identity as a working woman and full-time mom.

Trust Your Decision — and God

Leaving a full-time job with benefits is risky. Leaving behind a steady income and a consistent 9-5 when you’ve been doing it for years should make you ask questions. Your decision should be rooted in prayer and your desire to do God’s will; after all, the decision you are making is a big deal!

There may be a lingering voice (not today, Satan!) that whispers, “You’re going to fail.” But you can silence that lingering voice almost immediately when you remember that you made the decision in prayer. Once you’ve taken the leap of faith, keep looking forward, and find new ways to grow professionally and personally and to trust the decision you’ve made. When you spend more time telling yourself that you trust God and trust where you are, you’ll be more comfortable, confident, and settled in your new identity as a working mom.

Is Child Care an Option?

I think sometimes child care is viewed as “all or nothing.” I remember panicking, thinking, “We can’t afford to send both kids to daycare full time while I freelance!” But we were able to develop a hybrid model of our own that works for my family. Our three year old attends daycare three days a week, and my mom watches our baby once a week so I can have uninterrupted time to work.

Once our baby is a little older and more mobile, we will look into more permanent child care options for him, but for now, this approach is what works best for our family. So many women decide they want to freelance to be able to spend more time with their children, and while it has been a blessing, there is no shame in hiring someone for a few hours a week to help out. It allows me to keep a sane mind, have focused time to dedicate to my work, and know that someone else is able to give the time and energy my children need so I can continue to provide for my family.

Don’t Worry What Others Think

This is something I never realized would bother me. I am still very much a working woman/wife/mom/human. I go into an office two days a week and put in my hours, and I finish the remainder of my scheduled hours when I have time at home.

Every now and then, people will say something like, “Staying home with your children is the best decision you’ll ever make” or, “Did you decide to stay home with your kids?” These comments got under my skin, because I felt like I didn’t know who I was anymore. Should I tell people I work part time? I’m a freelancer? I’m a working mom?

I have learned to brush off the harmless comments people make, because they do not matter. At the end of the day, I know where my worth lies. I have found a new balanced identity as a work-from-home mom, and it is exactly where I should be.

Take Time for You

It’s so difficult to take time for ourselves. Whether you are single, married, have children ... wherever you are in life, take time for yourself. It’s easy to put on those many hats we wear as working women and forget to put on the “me time” hat. Whether it’s going on a run, going to the store alone, spending time with friends, or sitting in prayer, you need that time to recharge so you can fully give of yourself.

I’ve only recently tried implementing all of these strategies into my life, and it has made a world of difference. Trusting in who God created me to be, and allowing His graces to enter into my daily life as a wife, mother, and worker has allowed me to see that my identity will only be found in God. Everything else will fall into place where it’s supposed to.

Colleen Godinez is a freelance copywriter living in Kansas City. She graduated from Kansas State University with a BS in psychology and a minor in journalism and mass communication. In her spare time, she loves laughing with friends and family and finding new wines to sip on (sparkling rose on warmer days). She has learned to appreciate the little things in life and soaks up every moment she can with her two kids and husband. You can follow her on Facebook or Instagram.