Peacefully Embracing Motherhood and Career
“The loveliest masterpiece of the heart of God is the heart of a mother” (St. Thérèse of Lisieux).
Being a working mother isn’t easy. Nor is being a stay-at-home mother. Whichever decision we make as mothers, it often seems like it’s one big “the grass is always greener” complex. I think the reason we don’t see more articles on this topic is because none of us feels like we are experts at it.
I was blessed to be able to make the decision to return to work part-time after giving birth to my daughter. Even though I’m seen by others to have the best of both worlds, if I don’t focus on the positives, I don’t always see the gift in it. I feel like I’m neither here nor there, not fully able to complete my duties on either end of the spectrum but just getting by in each capacity. Yet I knew that that with the long office commute I faced, and with my desire to hold fast to my values of prioritizing and cultivating a close family and home life, this was the best decision for me.
Yet it’s difficult waking up an extra hour before work on the off chance that nursing takes longer than normal or in case you have to change into a different outfit because milk spilled on your shirt. It’s emotional driving away from a crying baby in the direction of the office for the next 10 hours. It’s weirdly embarrassing to have three breaks on your calendar and stroll the halls with a breast pump bag toward the bathroom/lounge room/nursing room and then out toward the fridge armed with a cooler bag of your own milkshake. And it’s depressing getting home to realize you have 30 minutes to change baby’s clothes into pajamas and read them a book before you tuck them into bed.
Balancing motherhood with career looks a million different ways for a million different people. Some women prefer not to be home 24/7, while others couldn’t imagine anything else. Even though we weigh choices and eventually make decisions as to what we think is best or what we must do, the daily sacrifices are always present. If we imagine that one choice or another will save us from little heartaches, we will end up sorely disappointed and disillusioned. We’ll only be happy if we embrace and find peace in our roles.
We as women change, too, once we become mothers. Our hearts are different, our perspectives are broadened, our values are altered. Though our little ones might not always be with us, they’re a constant that takes up residence in our minds and hearts. We aren’t just one person anymore; that little person we became a mother to—however it is that we became a mother—will forever be an extension of us. We might just begin to better grasp the Trinity and the joys and sorrows of the heart of Mary.
Whatever your choice, whatever your struggles and sacrifices, know that you’re a good mother. And the weight of your choice will always fade away in those deeply precious moments, like when a two-year-old cups your face in her hands, looks into your eyes, and tells you, “Mama, you’re a good mama. I love you.”
Mama Mary, sweet mother of Jesus, help us to be like you. Dearest Father, draw us closer to your heart.
Laura Pugliano is co-founder of Ciccio's Olives, an exquisitely pure, single-origin extra virgin olive oil produced by her Italian in-laws in Calabria, Italy. She is also marketing and content strategist at the digital solutions provider Candoris, an alumna of Franciscan University of Steubenville, and most importantly, a wife and mother. Join Laura on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn.