The Potter and the Clay: A Prayer of Surrender
“Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand” (Jeremiah 18:6).
Bearing Fruit: Cultivating the Garden of Our Hearts
Gardens are an important setting in Scripture. Adam and Eve are created in the Garden of Eden, born out of God’s great love for us (Genesis 2). Jesus prays and suffers in the Garden of Gethsemane before he is arrested and crucified (Matthew 26:36-46, Mark 14:32-42, Luke 22:39-46)—again, out of love for us.
This Lent, the Catholic Women in Business team is meditating on our interior garden, where we can invite God to help us bear fruit. As St. Augustine wrote, “The turn of phrase by which the man is said to work the land, which is already land, into also being landscaped and fertile, is the same as the one by which God is said to work the man, who was already a man, into also being godfearing and wise.”
“I’m sorry; we’ve gone with another candidate.”
“Apologies, there has been an oversight; this position is filled.”
“We loved you, but the position doesn’t quite fit your skill set.”
You’ve heard these before? Me, too. Almost too many times to count.
Since I embarked on my career journey, I’ve worked hard, been hit with unexpected obstacles, moved to a new city solo, attempted to grow as an adult, and, yes, been rejected.
A couple of months into my first job after college, I realized I wanted more mentorship and structure. My team members were passionate and intelligent, but they didn’t have the bandwidth to expand project details, go to coffee, or nurture a green professional like me. So, I slowly started the process of networking, browsing job boards, reaching out to old contacts, and eventually applying for a job. And another. And another.
I’ve had over a year and a half of applications, over a year and a half of some interviews and calls, over a year and a half of rejections. Even as the serial optimist that I am, I felt dejected, unsuccessful, and stuck. I was on a merry-go-round of thoughts (“What if I am at this job forever, and no one else wants me? Maybe I’m not good enough. Why try when this is what you get?”) and hopeful comments from my friends (“Did that job ever contact you?” “You’ll get the next one!” “You’re so talented; don’t worry!”).
I’ve known since I studied for Accelerated Reading (AR) tests as a first grader that I tend to place my worth in my work and achievements. With this understanding as my lens, the job rejection process felt like the ultimate test. Was I willing to submit to what God wants for me? Was I willing to continue to try, focusing on reaching my potential but keeping God and sainthood (read: not my career) as my priority? Was I willing to continue to hope, even if I didn’t see a way how?
The process of surrender and the balance of reaching for my dreams yet submitting to God’s dreams for my life—and the lessons of the current moment—is something I assume I will struggle with for the rest of my life. However, I have found subtle refuge in God as an artist, molding my life into a masterpiece.
If God Is the Potter, We are the Clay
In the Book of Jeremiah, God tells Jeremiah to visit the local potter. While there, Jeremiah sees the potter working the wheel, moving the clay into vessels and repurposing any pieces that “turned out badly.” God uses the potter and the clay to describe his relationship with the people of Israel.
I have never thrown clay or seen a kiln or sourced soil to make clay, but I can see the hands of a potter delicately yet firmly forming the clay into a shape. I see a messy apron, a furrowed brow, and hands led by a vision. So, too, is God preparing, planning, moving, crafting, and purifying my life, including my career.
When I look at my own rejection story and imagine myself as clay and God as the potter, new truths arise. The clay is made; then, thrown, shaped, and formed. Then, worked over again. Odd or broken pieces of clay are rethrown and made into new vessels. Nothing is wasted. Finally, it is transformed into pottery in intense heat.
Likewise, in my applications, networking, and interviewing and daily spiritual, emotional, and physical demands, God is preparing me. He knows the shape, the style, and the characteristics of the piece he wants to make for me. If I allow myself to be malleable to his design, I begin to take shape, with no failure or misstep wasted. Finally, even in form, I may be tested in heat—but only to come out as the final project God intends.
In this view, as God creates the vessel of my career, my rejections may be a part of the siphoning process in the creation of the clay or, perhaps, part of the reworking of parts that have “turned out badly.” Either way, I am reassured that God is holding my life, and my career, in his hands, even when it feels like my prayers are unanswered.
A Prayer for the Clay
From the earth, to the clay, to the hands, to the kiln, to the final creation, I’ve crafted a brief prayer to motivate me in the slow seasons of surrender:
Prepare the materials that make me, the soil I come from.
Imbue my relationships, my activities, my alone time, and my job with nutrients perfect for the vessel you are making me into.
As you process the soil into clay, removing unnecessary components, remove anything from my life that is unnecessary.
Soften my heart, soften my will, soften my body, so that I am moveable like clay in your hands.
Give me the strength to be open to your artistic vision.
Once I start to take shape, center me so I do not break or lose my form.
When I am put through fire, like a vessel in a kiln, let me see it as a transformation, not a punishment.
God, let me know you as the potter and myself as the clay.
Help me trust the slow process and know that the final process will be perfect, unrepeatable, and unique—as is your plan for me.
Marissa Vonesh is a visual journalist and graphic designer based in Washington, D.C. A native to Northern Arizona and adventure junkie, she is no stranger to hiking, spontaneous road trips, and midnight adoration sessions. View her work at marissavonesh.com, or connect with her on Instagram.