I’ve known since I studied for Accelerated Reading (AR) tests as a first grader that I tend to place my worth in my work and achievements. With this understanding as my lens, the job rejection process felt like the ultimate test. Was I willing to submit to what God wants for me? Was I willing to continue to try, focusing on reaching my potential but keeping God and sainthood (read: not my career) as my priority? Was I willing to continue to hope, even if I didn’t see a way how?

The process of surrender and the balance of reaching for my dreams yet submitting to God’s dreams for my life—and the lessons of the current moment—is something I assume I will struggle with for the rest of my life. However, I have found subtle refuge in God as an artist, molding my life into a masterpiece.