Building Resilience Through the Practice of Virtue
“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think of these things” (Philippians 4:8).
You Can Do It
“I can’t do it!” she called down to me, halfway up the rock wall. We were spending the afternoon at our local university’s climbing gym. She had practically held her breath and floated up to the wrung where she now stood, five feet below the top, where a metal bar sat waiting for her victory slap.
I didn’t skip a beat in my response: “Yes, you can. You’ve done amazing so far, and you’re nearly there. If you need to rest, take a break—but don’t come down now.”
The story hardly has an inspiring ending, seeing that she climbed one more level of rocks, freaked herself out, and asked to come down. She made it up to the top by the end of the day, but it was filled with shouts and cries of “I can’t.”
My role as her court appointed special advocate wears many hats. I advocate for her (we’ll call her Riley) and her sister as they navigate their way through Nebraska’s foster care system. I am their voice amid the many adults in their lives: guardians ad litem, county judges, foster parents, and case workers.
Not only am I there to protect Riley and her sister, but I am also to teach them resilience. As two preteens in foster care, they have already been given a difficult hand, and they will need this skill to face each compounding cross with grace and virtue. They will one day leave the foster care system, protected from harm and strengthened in their resilience to face the problems they will inevitably face. Their capacity to recover quickly from difficulty will sustain them in their chapters ahead.
The Connection Between Virtue and Resilience
Fast-forward to the following week’s meeting with my contracting team at work. For whatever reason, our leadership wanted to focus on a small (and admittedly annoying) gap in our contracting process. The tone of the meeting was hardly constructive but, instead, sat on the key of complaining, shaming, and sulking. Amid the self-pity for failing an internal audit, then blaming another team for their failures, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at how juvenile the conversation sounded:
“I don’t like that they failed me.”“Can we change the word ‘fail’ to something else?”
“I don’t like clicking all these buttons.”
My favorite complaint was when my teammates asked that the internal audit team cut corners in its standards to be more palatable for their egos and feelings. The conversation lasted for an hour, never truly improving.
As I sat quietly, trying to compose myself, I reflected on how much this meeting was lacking in virtue and in the skill of resilience.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church reads, “Human virtues are firm attitudes, stable dispositions, habitual perfections of intellect and will that govern our actions, order our passions, and guide our conduct according to reason and faith. They make possible ease, self-mastery, and joy in leading a morally good life. The virtuous man is he who freely practices the good (1804).
To be virtuous, we must practice the virtues. It is not enough to be naturally virtuous, which itself is an oxymoron. The words “habitual,” “govern,” and “order” reflect a more disciplined and intentional approach to our behavior. “The virtuous man is he who freely practices the good.”
Included in this section of the Catechism are the cardinal virtues of prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance (CCC 1805). I would argue it is the continuous practice of the cardinal virtues that improve our resilience.
“Prudence is the virtue that disposes practical reason to discern our true good in every circumstance and to choose the right means of achieving it … it guides the other virtues by setting rule and measure” (CCC 1806).
“Justice is the moral virtue that consists in the constant and firm will to give their due to God and neighbor … The just man, often mentioned in the Sacred Scriptures, is distinguished by habitual right thinking and the uprightness of his conduct toward his neighbor” (CCC 1807).
“Fortitude is the moral virtue that ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of the good … The virtue of fortitude enables one to conquer fear, even fear of death, and to face trials and persecutions” (CCC 1808).
“Temperance is the moral virtue that moderates the attraction of pleasures and provides balance in the use of created goods … The temperate person directs the sensitive appetites toward what is good and maintains a healthy discretion” (CCC 1809).
As I listened to our team members ruminate on minor inconveniences and the battle to master their ego over a simple audit finding, I wondered how many were actively practicing the improvement of their habits and behaviors:
How many discerned their true good in that conversation as they complained and gossiped about co-workers who weren’t there to defend themselves?
How many were mindful of the uprightness of their conduct toward their neighbors?
Were they practicing firmness in difficulties while facing trials?
Did they notice their attraction to the pleasures of gossip and complaining instead of maintaining a healthy discretion in their words?
And, were they practicing curiosity to learn, steadfastness, humility in accepting failure as a means to grow, and respect toward their neighbor? How does one even begin to teach this practice in the workplace?
The cardinal virtues of prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance are tools to help us grow in resilience. And, they are something we must practice in every moment and circumstance. These virtues do not come naturally but require grace, patience, and constancy.
Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulty. It is rare to find someone who is naturally resilient; it is something to be practiced and eventually mastered. Just as Riley must learn to retire her favorite phrase of “I can’t,” my teammates must learn to retire their groans of minor inconvenience in the workplace.
Let’s all take a moment to consider: Where can I grow in my capacity to be resilient through practicing the virtues? What small changes can I make today?
Mindy Edgington is a fiery, Midwestern Catholic convert from St. Louis, Missouri. By day, Mindy works for a Catholic health care system in group purchasing and IT contracting. Outside of work, she is a Court Appointed Special Advocate for children in foster care, Bible study leader at her local parish, and avid reader who is proud of her library card. She now lives in Omaha, NE with her husband, Octavio, who is currently in law school at Creighton University. They're accompanied by their hound dog, Brody. You can follow her on Instagram @mindy.edgington.