CWIB Book Review: “The Little Way of Living with Less”
“Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides” (Matthew 6:33).
My husband and I bought our first house last fall after a long and stressful search. The Raleigh, North Carolina, area is not kind to first-time homebuyers right now. Just when we’d given up, God sent us a beautiful duplex in a small town outside of the city. It’s the perfect size for our small family to host relatives and friends, and it’s in a new neighborhood with other families.
The house-hunting process taught us many lessons, including gratitude, trust, and contentment. Gratitude for the gifts God gives us, trust that he will always provide, and contentment with having just what we need rather than what we think we want.
In light of this life event, Laraine Bennett’s new book “The Little Way of Living with Less: Learning to Let Go with the Little Flower” was a timely read—and an instructive one. Bennett, perhaps best known as the co-author (with her husband) of “The Temperament God Gave You,” shares insight from my beloved St. Thérèse of Lisieux on how to live with simplicity and humility.
It’s Not About Your Stuff
“The Little Way of Living With Less” is not a how-to on decluttering (although there are some helpful tips). It’s also not a decorating manual (although there are some great quotes from Joanna Gaines!) or a minimalist manifesto (although she’s all for cutting back on “stuff”). Rather, this book is a guide for identifying and letting go of attachments to things other than God.
“Detachment from earthly things is a particularly difficult spiritual reality to achieve,” Bennett writes. “As soon as you find yourself detached from one thing, you realize there is an even deeper reality to be grasped. Detaching is like peeling layers of onions—and then you discover you have to detach from yourself, too.” Bennett takes us through the process (with plenty of examples from her own experience) of understanding what it is we’re attached to and how those attachments are replacing Jesus in our heart.
Ending the “Compare and Despair” Cycle
All too often during the house hunt, I found myself falling prey to envy, despite the fact that we had a good home in our apartment. Bennett, quoting a priest she knows, calls it “compare and despair.” Particularly when we’re scrolling social media, “We think: ‘If only I had a bigger house, or a more fulfilling career, or a high income, or … or … or … Then I’d be happy.’”
On the other hand, “Sometimes it isn’t the comparisons we make with others or envy: it is our own internal critic that keeps pushing us, telling us that we are not good enough and causing the anxiety that cripples us and steals our joy and our peace.”
Throughout the book, Bennett argues that it isn’t other people’s lifestyle or even our own ideal lifestyle that should drive our decisions—it’s God’s will. When we create a business, take a new direction in our career, grow our family, or buy a house, the goal should always be to align our will with God’s. That might mean building wealth in a way that seems worldly but allows us to give more to our church and community. It might mean moving out to the suburbs (a decision that Bennett critiques, I believe a little too harshly and unrealistically), being further away from people but being able to afford Catholic school tuition for our children. It might mean that our life takes turns we never would have dreamed of—but if those turns are guided by the Lord, they will ultimately be sanctifying.
Which brings me to the final, most important point Bennett makes in her book: Our home here is not our final home. It will never be perfect, and we shouldn’t try to make it so. Clinging too tightly to our work and our life here on earth will keep our vision too cloudy to aim for Heaven. As St. Thérèse said, “I know the country I am living in is not really my true fatherland, and there is another I must long for without ceasing.”
Taryn DeLong is a Catholic wife and mother in North Carolina who encourages women to live out their feminine genius as co-president and editor-in-chief of Catholic Women in Business and a contributor to publications for Catholic women. She enjoys curling up with a cup of Earl Grey and a good novel, playing the piano, and taking walks in the sunshine with her family. Connect with Taryn: Twitter • Instagram • Facebook • LinkedIn • Blog