Learning Prudence to Overcome Perfectionism
“I, Wisdom, dwell with prudence, and useful knowledge I have” (Proverbs 8:12).
Editor’s note: This Lent, the Catholic Women in Business team is exploring the theme “Cultivating Virtue in the Desert.” Learn more here.
I spent hours perfecting my first book. It might not seem like a bad thing, but it was problematic for two reasons. First, I believed that I could make the book flawless. Second, this belief took my time away from other work in my vocation. Perfectionism distorted my vision through hypercriticism, leading to pride. It was the shadow side to my diligence, care, love of beauty, and attention to detail. This shadow kept me in a desert without a well.
Perfectionism takes the form of a need for control and flawlessness. Imperfection becomes unacceptable, blinding perfectionists of our need for and reliance on God. Perfectionism, in this sense, is distinct from Gospel perfection, which calls for us to orient our will to God’s and to reach our heavenly perfection as saints.
A Wellspring in the Desert
“Cultivating virtue in the desert” doesn’t mean perfecting every character flaw or seeing the attainment of virtue as a success to achieve. I love the idea of “cultivating,” because in my own work, I see myself as a cultivator. I tend to the fields on earth so that I can reach God in Heaven. I try to plant new seeds of creativity, rooted in Christ, and restore our creative imagination. I try to create space for other makers to flourish.
But perfectionism is a barrier to virtue. It prevents us from seeing, choosing, and acting well. A perfectionist needs prudence.
Prudence
Perfectionism often reveals a lack of prudence. As the first cardinal virtue, prudence helps us order our choices and actions to reality. The cardinal virtues are the foundation for all other moral virtues. The word “cardo” means “hinge,” so the cardinal virtues are the virtues on which all the other others hinge or turn. The other three cardinal virtues are justice, fortitude, and temperance. Prudence is considered the queen of virtues, leading them through good reasoning.
Prudence is both an intellectual and a moral virtue. In this way, it helps us to understand our end—to love God and neighbor and to be a saint. Prudence helps us discern what will lead us to holiness. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, prudence “is the virtue that disposes practical reason to discern our true good in every circumstance and to choose the right means of achieving it” (1806).
Practicing Prudence
In his “Summa Theologiae,” Saint Thomas Aquinas explains three important actions related to prudence: seeking counsel (asking the right questions), judging (finding the right answers to those questions), and commanding (applying what you have learned to the action itself; II-II, q. 47, a. 8).
Here are three ways to form habits of prudence based on Aquinas’ steps:
1. Discover Wisdom in Good Counsel
Aquinas says that counsel is a gift of prudence. Counsel requires us to ask good questions related to the decision we are trying to make. It also requires us to listen well for the answer.
In order to seek counsel, we first need to acknowledge our mistakes and accept them as part of our humanity. Through this acceptance, we grow in humility and embrace our capacity to learn from mistakes. Humility helps us receive truth and allows us to discern and seek out good counsel from someone, such as a good spiritual director. Receiving wise counsel also teaches us how to become wise ourselves.
2. Discern and Judge Well
In order to discern and judge well, we need to desire the true good. We need to desire God’s will for us and know that his will fulfills the deepest longings in our heart for happiness. Finally, when we seek answers to our questions, we need to be guided by truth.
3. Be Decisive and Act
Decisiveness shouldn’t be confused with haste. In my perfectionism, I am often indecisive, not for lack of being able to understand the facts and judge rightly, but because of a fear of making the wrong choice. This fear comes from a lack of trust in God.
Since prudence is reason and action, it is closely related to practical wisdom—the knowledge we need to make good and decisive choices that reflect our love of God. We don’t often think that the way we make decisions can be grounds for cultivating virtue, but the virtue of prudence is all about choosing well and acting rightly.
Our work presents so many opportunities to make choices, and it helps to reflect on them later: Did my choice contribute to my flourishing? How did my choice draw me closer to God? Reflections like these root our decisions in the will of God and cultivate virtue that will someday bear fruit through our labor.
Jody C. Benson is a freelance writer and editor and an instructor in Thy Olive Tree’s Fiat Self-Publishing Academy. She is the author of Behold: A Reflection Journal Where Wonder, Creation, and Stewardship Meet. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband and children. Learn more at jodycbenson.com and jodycbenson.substack.com.