Sitting in Our Lenten Desert
“Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil” (Matthew 4:1).
Editor’s note: This Lent, the Catholic Women in Business team is exploring the theme “Cultivating Virtue in the Desert.” Learn more here.
I am very past the deadline for this article.
I have submitted articles late before, but this is a new kind of lateness. And the more time that passes, the harder it has been to sit down and write. Between a stomach bug, an out-of-town work trip, and major car issues—all within a three-week timeframe—the beginning of Lent has been more of white-knuckling affair than entering into a spiritual desert.
Starting Strong
Going into Lent, I had a whole list of things I wanted to do in terms of prayer and fasting;
Weekly Adoration
Limited TV time
Using my phone as a phone
No “snooze” button
Early bedtime
No multitasking
The list seems more ready for a “My Lenten practice is more intensive than yours” Catholic gloat or a 40-day to-do list than a real pause to listen to where the Lord is wanting to draw me closer.
We often see Lent as a “let’s-get-through-it” liturgical season instead of a season of sitting with the Lord in the desert. In many ways, it is easier to see Lent as a time to do it all and complete a checklist than to sit for 40 days in the discomfort of the desert.
This Lenten season, I felt excited—that this was going to be the Lent of amazing spiritual reckoning. It was the first Lent in a long time that I had deeply reflected on where the Lord was calling me to grow closer to him. In the midst of my constant busyness and exhaustion, the Lord placed on my heart the need to stop multitasking and rest in his arms.
I was ready for 40 days of intimacy in the desert.
Lent did start off strong. I attended Ash Wednesday early before getting onto a plane to Las Vegas for a work seminar. I was keeping up on not eating meat, praying, resting, and focusing on one thing at a time. Then, the exhaustion of my work trip hit me all at once, and prayer and fasting became an afterthought as I worked to keep my head above water. Going to Mass on Sunday seemed to be more of an effort than driven by a need to receive spiritual nourishment. It’s all just so off-balance and far from intimacy.
Renewal in the Desert
After the seminar, a co-worker and I stayed an extra day to take a bus tour of the Antelope Canyon and Horseshoe Bend in Arizona. We woke up before the crack of dawn for the bus to pick us at our hotel and drove through Utah into Arizona. We were with a group of strangers, all with the same desire to experience the beauty of the canyons.
When we finally arrived at Antelope Canyon, we transferred buses and then walked down toward the bottom of the canyon. It was breath-takingly beautiful—the colors, the blue sky, the snow still on the ground. I looked up and around and was in awe that our God not only thought of something so beautiful but wanted to create it and share it with us. It was as if God took different hues of red, orange, and brown clay to gently mold and form the canyon.
Climbing the smaller rocks and ridges of Horseshoe Bend, I looked at and saw the mountain, the water, and sky—again in awe that our God created something so beautiful that could also be a place of sorrow and pain. Gazing around, I thought about how often God uses the desert to cleanse and renew our hearts.
Joseph saved Egypt from starvation (Genesis 41) and reunited with and forgave his brothers (Genesis 45).
God spoke to Moses in the burning bush (Exodus 3).
The Israelites wandered the desert for 40 years (Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers).
Mary and Joseph fled with the baby Jesus into Egypt (Matthew 2:13-15).
John the Baptist preached in the wilderness (John 1:23).
Jesus was tempted by the devil in the desert (Matthew 4:1).
The desert is where God has done some of his best work. It is in the desert where our self-reliance is stripped away and we are invited to lean in and trust God.
That stripping and leaning in is a painful process; it can feel that we are the ones losing control, and that makes us uncomfortable. We don’t like to be uncomfortable in any capacity, especially in our spiritual life. We rather be comfortable, because it feels safer and easier and possibly less painful.
But living comfortably keeps us at a distance from a God who wants an intimate and personal relationship with us. Comfortable means we chose to white-knuckle our way through life’s storms, trying to keep everything together by ourselves. It’s more painful and harder.
God wants us to encounter him; he wants our very heart. Each Lent, we are invited into the desert to remember God’s providence and goodness for his people. The people of Israel experienced the discomfort of the desert, but they also experienced mercy, freedom, protection, boldness, and trust. Yes; they were in the desert, but God never abandoned them. And he never abandons us.
Releasing Control
He wants us to stop white-knuckling our way through life and, instead, meet him in the desert. He wants to strip us of our self-reliance habits and show us the canyons and ridges. He wants us to experience the beauty that comes with mercy, freedom, protection, trust, and boldness. That is why he is inviting us to sit in the desert with him.
Our time sitting in the desert may only be these 40 days of Lent, but it may be that we stay there longer. God doesn’t cleanse us in the short term but works for the long term—for us to experience Heaven for eternity. Lent is a painful process, but the reward of his mercy and love is so worth it.
God’s son, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, knows how painful the desert is. He went into the desert and fasted for 40 days 40 nights (Matthew 4:2). He understands how uncomfortable it can be to sit in the desert. But he also knows how beautiful it can be; he sees the canyons and ridges that are in the desert and forming within our hearts. He sees the beauty and freedom of surrounding ourselves with the Father and letting the Father delight in us.
Let this be the Lent that we stop white-knuckling our way through and, instead, release our control and sit in the desert. The Lord is there; he is always there. He is sitting with us as we lean in and trust. He wants us to sit and let him show off his beautiful creation—the desert and us.
Sit this Lent and the days that follow in the desert. Let him cleanse and renew you. See the canyons and ridges of the desert and the work he is doing in your heart. Don’t get through Lent; sit through Lent with a God who loves you so much that his Son died for you so that you could have eternity with them.
Alexandra (Alex) Harrel resides in Irving, Texas. She is a new student affairs professional within the world of higher education. In her spare time, she loves reading, listening to podcasts, and spending time outdoors. Her favorite prayer is Hail, Holy Queen. You can follow her on Instagram at @2012alexandra.