Practicing Receptivity During Lent
“The intrinsic value of woman consists essentially in exceptional receptivity for God’s work in the soul” (Edith Stein, aka St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross).
Editor’s note: This Lent, the Catholic Women in Business team is exploring the theme “Cultivating Virtue in the Desert.” Learn more here.
I don’t know about you, but when I think of desert, I think of survival. And at the beginning of this year, that’s exactly where I found myself: in full-on survival mode. My husband was away for several weeks on military duty. I was left at home with my three little boys, balancing full-time work fresh off maternity leave. I’d expected it to be challenging, so I’d prepared as well as I could have. But, alas, one week into solo parenting, and my child care arrangements fell through. My well-laid plans weren’t sufficient.
Suddenly, I felt (and was!) stretched much more thinly than I’d anticipated being. Even though my expectations for achievement were already pretty low, I had to lower them even further. I began to feel inadequate as a mom, an employee, and a person. I just couldn’t do it all. Really, I couldn’t do much of anything outside of making sure my emails were read, deadlines were met or rescheduled, and everyone was fed and … mostly clean.
When you’re in survival mode (in a literal desert or elsewhere), you might experience confusion, exhaustion, frustration, and desperation, among other “-ion” emotions. Because resources seem (or are) scarce, skills such as creative problem-solving, flexible thinking, and generosity become difficult to put into practice. We can only do the bare minimum. We’re focused on putting one foot in front of the other—taking the next right step.
We know that Jesus went through a desert. He knows what it’s like to be tempted and tried. He knows what it’s like to be lonely. But he also knows—and shows us—how to keep going, to keep trudging through to make it to the other side. Jesus came out victorious on the other end of his desert journey, and after our Lenten walk, we’re invited into victory as well: Our walk is leading and preparing us for a wonderful gathering, the Paschal feast, to which we are each personally invited to come and participate.
Banquet Etiquette
When we’re invited to a gathering, it’s natural to want to bring something, to contribute. Showing up empty-handed would be rude or impolite. But, in seasons of survival, the ability to think outside of ourselves can be so challenging. The idea of contributing in a meaningful way seems far-fetched—making a side dish, laughable. But we’re sent through the desert on our way to the feast. We’re asked to go into a place and assume a posture of barrenness—of survival.
How in the world are we expected to show up with a slammin’ charcuterie board?
What gives?
Well … God does.
Praise God that even in the desert, he provides what we need. He is sufficient—extravagant even. He longs to (and indeed does) pour out his graces as libations to us. He quenches our thirst with his graces. All we need to do is receive what he offers to us.
In a reflection on 2 Corinthians 5:19 in his book “Introduction to Christianity,” Joseph Ratzinger (Pope Benedict XVI) describes how true Christian worship is, in essence, receptivity. He says:
“The essential form of Christian worship is therefore rightly called Eucharistia, thanksgiving. In this form of worship human achievements are not placed before God; on the contrary, it consists in man’s letting himself be endowed with gifts; we do not glorify God by supposedly giving to him out of our resources—as if they were not his already!—but by letting ourselves be endowed with his own gifts and thus recognizing him as the only Lord. We worship him by dropping the fiction of a realm in which we could face him as independent business partners, whereas in truth we can only exist at all in him and from him. Christian sacrifice does not consist in a giving of what God would not have without us but in our becoming totally receptive and letting ourselves be completely taken over by him. Letting God act on us—that is Christian sacrifice.”
So, it is our job not to act so much as to be acted upon and acted through.
But assuming a posture of receptivity is often easier said than done. And, it’s admittedly more difficult in desert seasons. But remember, we’re not alone in our desert! Jesus walks with us. When we don’t want to take another step, he can carry us. Take heart.
So, how can we practically begin to develop this essential skill?
4 Steps to Developing Receptivity
1. Remove the Obstacles
The first and most essential thing we need to do is fix our eyes on Jesus. We need to have clear sightlines to the one who loves us. We need to know where we’re going, whom we’re aiming for. Our souls should be like an HGTV home reno show: open concept. We want to be able to see, hear, and have a chat with Jesus, no matter which room we’re in.
So, embrace your spiritual demo day and knock down some walls, whether spiritual, mental, or physical:
Go to Confession. Let the graces of the sacrament become available to you and assist you on your journey.
Commit—today—to turn away from any habits, thoughts, or people that lead you away from Jesus.
Work on your mindset. What lies and limiting beliefs of shame or scarcity have been holding you back? Next time you hear those thoughts, interrupt them. Replace them with the truth of who God is and who he has made you to be. Steep yourself in Scripture. Jesus is the Living Word. His voice will fortify you.
2. Commit to Receptive Behaviors
The more I reflect on this point, the more I get a sense that the Church must know what she’s doing (imagine that!). Because the same things the Church asks us to do during Lent—fasting, prayer, obedience, and gratitude—are boons to spiritual receptivity. They help us become aware of the obstacles (see No. 1) that get in the way of a close relationship with Jesus (see No. 3), and they remind us of our humanity and our littleness—how much we need God!
So, fast and pray! These things will help you with your spiritual posture of receptivity. Fasting (i.e., obedience) helps to remove our own ego, desires, and need for control. It helps to make room for honest conversation with God (i.e., prayer).
3. Practice With Others
With our spiritual posture straightening up, we also need to work on our physical posture. We need to live the virtue of receptivity out in the physical world, too—specifically in our relationships. I think there’s always a temptation to individualize receptivity (or any virtue, really), but we have to remember that receptivity isn’t for us. It’s for others. It’s inherently relational. If there’s no one else to listen to or embrace, there’s no receiving to be done.
Receptivity—to others or to Christ himself—allows us to be able to serve.
In her book “The Serving Mindset,” Farnoosh Brock highlights how being present and receptive can actually set you apart (in a good way) in business. She writes:
“When you are present without labeling everything in your mind, you offer a rare gift: 100% of your attention and focus, an experience for which people are hungry in our fast-paced, multitasking world. This comes before doing business. This tuning in and deep listening is the foundation of being right here and right now.
“Total presence is the greatest gift you can offer. Being present means setting aside the noise and chatter in your mind in order to create space. It means taking a deep breath, grounding your body (whether seated or standing), facing the person speaking to you, hearing them, and responding in kind without saying much. Let your posture and body language—your eyes, your energy, your gestures—emanate presence so that your voice doesn’t have to fill the air.
“Don’t believe the impact? Do this in the very next conversation with anyone you are having, including a family member or partner, and watch the response. Look for subtle cues in their body, their tone of voice, their pace, and their level of listening back when you begin to speak. Look for the appreciation and the presence they bring to the conversation in return.”
She argues, and I agree, that an openness in how we approach others helps them be open and more fully themselves. We can offer a place for others to land and be loved.
4. Rinse, Repeat, and Reflect
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) defines virtue as “an habitual and firm disposition to do the good” that “allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. The virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions” (1803).
Habits are formed by consistent action. So, the final step in this—sometimes arduous—journey is to simply take another one. Keep trying and trying again. When you fall, ask for forgiveness and help. When you succeed, give thanks. In all, give God the Glory!
God invites each one of us to the Paschal feast. He planned the party. He made the invitation. He knows the way, so he knows that we have to pass through the desert to get there. He knows that it’s going to be hard. He knows that we’re going to feel bedraggled and frazzled. He knows that we’re going to feel snappy and hangry. He knows. And he invites us anyway. He wants us there anyway.
In desert seasons, it can feel overwhelming or impossible to do even one more thing. But take heart! One of the best things we can bring to the feast is simply ourselves … with open hands and open, clean hearts.
Jesus doesn’t say to us, “Balance your day job with child care and your husband gone flawlessly. Oh, and also, be sure to bring a casserole to feed a multitude of people.”
No. He says to simply, “Take and eat” (Matthew 26:26).
So, let’s go. Let’s go through the desert. Let’s experience the hunger pains. Let’s strip away the need to do and be more. Let us let God be God. Let’s make our way to the feast. Let us accept the invitation. Let us receive the generosity of the Lord.
Tara Wright is an artist, Marine wife, and happy Catholic. By day, Tara creates content for Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit force behind the beloved children’s show “Sesame Street.” She is the owner of Tara Wright Studio, where she specializes in custom art and illustration, and is co-founder of Scatter and Sow. After spending several years on the east coast, Tara and her family now call Oklahoma home.