“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you … plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Setback: a reversal or check in progress (Oxford Language Dictionary).

Whether they are personal, professional, or spiritual, setbacks are a part of life. Some as a result of a traumatic experience or major moment, while others are more subtle. Setbacks are moments that take us back to “start”—and they can help us move forward and shape how we view the past.

In Amy Shoenthal’s The Setback Cycle: How Defining Moments Can Move Us Forward, the journalist and marketing consultant explores how our setbacks can be the catalyst for growth, innovation, and transformation. She proposes four phases, which often take an “S” shape, of how we move through a setback: establish, embrace, explore, and emerge. The “S” shape illustrates that a setback is nonlinear—usually a slow process with curves along the way—and is an acknowledgement of the certainty that we will experience more setbacks in the future.

Shoenthal writes that rather than fearing or distancing ourselves from a setback, we should experience its discomforts and see it as a growth opportunity. It’s not that we need a setback for major success. However, setbacks can be transformative and forward-moving in our personal and professional (and, I will add, spiritual) life. In fact, they are often the moments that we point back to as the catalyst for small and major transformations.

Establish and Embrace

How do we know we are in a setback? Sometimes, it is a traumatic or dramatic experience that leads us into a setback. Other times, it is less obvious and simmers until we realize that we are in a rut. We can also deny that we are in a setback, dismissing annoyances and pushing through them because that is what we have always done. One sign of a setback is stress that manifests as a physiological response to something we have never experienced before. We may also ignore an instinct telling us that small annoyances are a part of a larger issue.

One of the hardest aspects of this phase is admitting failure while wanting to blame the people and/or circumstances that resulted in our setback. Our first response is to focus on the intensity of the emotions that keeps us paralyzed and unable to accept, reflect, and see the reality of the situation. These emotions can lead us to be self-critical and self-deprecating, believing that our setback is now our identity. We link our identity to our behaviors, unable to move past the negative feelings and experiences and listening to lies instead of seeing the facts and giving ourselves grace.

Failure can be a pathway to success when we reframe it as the discovery of something new. Embracing a setback means accepting that we are not perfect. Setbacks can be seasons of learning in which we adapt a growth mindset, losing our fear of trying and learning.

Thankfully, the Catholic Church gives us the gift of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, where we expose our brokenness and Jesus mercifully meets us to forgive our failures and reclaim us as His beloved one—over and over and over again.

Explore and Emerge

Our curiosity is heightened in a setback as we explore the lessons we’ve learned and our gifts and talents and look to bring them together in new ways. Setbacks provide us the opportunity to look beyond immediate satisfaction to discover or rediscover our passions, hobbies, simple pleasures, and community. We can also take this opportunity to discern our purpose and appreciate the creativity of the Father.

The exploration phase is a time to build the habit of consistency by taking small, actionable steps. So often, we become so overwhelmed with reaching our goal that everything we need to do in order to get there seems to be too much. Small steps move us forward and keep us grounded as we surrender our expectations and open ourselves to a different plan, which cultivates our curiosity and creativity in unexpected ways. As we explore through our setback, the Lord is directing our steps (Proverbs 16:9).

We are not meant to go through setbacks alone. Shoenthal highlights the importance of community and shares how we can make connections through both weak and strong ties and ask the people we know to help us identify our superpowers. It is in community that we gain new perspectives and ideas and see how interconnected we really are. We are made for community—to ask for help and to offer help in our lowest moments and our everyday moments. Communities are part of the bedrock of our emergence from a setback.

Shoenthal highlights research showing that a purpose-driven life is correlated with success, happiness, and overall life satisfaction. As Catholics, we know that our purpose is to glorify God, live for Heaven, and bring as many people with us as we can. Emerging from a worldly or spiritual setback is a cause for celebration and joy directed to the Father for His neverending goodness and faithfulness. We will not experience our greatest victory until we meet Him face to face and He welcomes us to our Heavenly home, saying, “Well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21).

Closing Thoughts 

Amy Shoenthal’s The Setback Cycle is a helpful guide as we face personal and professional setbacks. Throughout the book are discussion questions to help readers work through the four phases of Establish, Embrace, Explore, and Embrace. While it provides a good base line of navigating setbacks, however, I believe it stays surface level, and Shoenthal sometimes endorses viewpoints that are not aligned with Catholic doctrine.

Catholic readers can read The Setback Cycle and work through the four phases while bringing in our faith, which speaks fervently on prayer, charity, hope, and a God who knows the plans He has set for us as we undergo setbacks and trials. Our Catholic faith speaks compassionately on redemptive suffering in bringing us closer to the heart of Jesus Christ and finding our identity in Him. God knows the plans He has for us, and they are all for the good in drawing us closer to Him. Through and with Him, we are given the strength and grace to endure setbacks, knowing our hope is in a Father Who loves us as intimately as if we were the only person in the world.

Alexandra (Alex) Harrel resides in Irving, Texas. She is a new student affairs professional within the world of higher education. In her spare time, she loves reading, listening to podcasts, and spending time outdoors. Her favorite prayer is Hail, Holy Queen. You can follow her on Instagram at @2012alexandra.