Purify My Heart
“Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow” (Psalm 51:9).
Blessed Catherine of Racconigi (1487–1574) was a Lay Dominican who, at age 12, had a mystical vision of the Child Jesus and the Blessed Virgin, who asked her to give her heart. "I don't know where it is," Catherine replied. “If you find it, I'll give it to you!”
Wouldn’t it be great (although a little scary!) to see, in person, our hearts being cleansed so we knew it really happened? And to have Mary herself “find” our hearts so that we knew we had really confessed everything that offends her Son?
Sometimes we leave the confessional and finish our penance with lingering doubts about whether we’ve really been forgiven, whether we’ve hidden something from ourselves that needs cleansing, especially when we catch ourselves having judgmental thoughts before we even leave the church parking lot!
Catherine “saw” Jesus’ power to heal her heart—her desires—so that what she wanted matched what was truly good for her. The fact that she mystically gave her heart for cleansing several times tells us we’re not alone in confessing the same things over and over again.
Our enemy never gives up looking for chinks in our armor: coworkers we don’t like, unethical deals that come our way, losses that discourage us. When we make a good confession, we may not literally see Jesus purifying our hearts as Catherine did. But His healing touch in the Sacrament cleanses us every bit as much as it did Catherine in the ecstasy of her vision.
Oops
As a Lay Dominican, I make the best confession I can every month. But I’ve dropped the ball lately. And I don't know why. It’s been bothering me, and I make plans to go, but then it slips my mind. It’s been about seven weeks.
Have I asked Jesus in person, in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, what flaws he sees in my heart that he is literally dying to heal?
No, not really.
Two Reasons
Reading about Catherine’s life made me think there are two reasons I’ve been putting off going to confession. The first is that I have not taken the time to do a good examination of conscience (which is especially weird because at our last meeting of my Virtue Circle, that’s exactly what we explored!).
The second reason is that the very thing that’s keeping me from going to confession is the thing that I need to confess: making an idol out of my work. Too busy doing God’s work to pay attention to Jesus—what’s wrong with this picture?
Consoling Jesus
Jesus’ greatest agony in his Passion was seeing souls who would reject his redemption and walk away from his saving blood, thinking they didn’t need it. His greatest agony was seeing souls fall into Hell because they were unwilling to receive the healing and pardon He offers us at every moment.
Sometimes the penance we’re given in confession doesn’t seem like much, like maybe it’s not enough to undo the stain of our sin. But a priest once told me that our tiny penance draws down the whole power of Christ on the Cross for our redemption. Yes, our penance is enough because Jesus magnifies it to infinity.
Lord, let me not increase the pain of your Passion by being one of the unwilling ones. Let me receive your pardon and healing and drench myself in your Most Precious Blood, which is my only hope for happiness here and in eternity. Your mercy is my only hope to bring justice and virtue to my work.
Blessed Catherine of Racconigi, pray for us that we may greet Jesus’ open arms with our open hearts—to be healed by the Divine Physician to yield the greatest fruit from our work’s mission.
Rose Folsom is a Catholic Prayer Coach who helps Catholic professionals have a closer connection with God so that they can finally actually pray and get enough peace for more focus and fruitfulness in their work and life. Download Rose’s “Top 10 Tips for Patience.” Rose’s experience as solopreneur and supervisor and her study of Thomistic theology make her passionate about helping you live a virtuous life that gives you the peace and joy that support your mission and purpose.