Living with Chronic Illness: Can We Still Thrive?
You have been told, O mortal, what is good, and what the LORD requires of you: Only to do justice and to love goodness, and to walk humbly with your God. - Micah 6:8
You Don’t Look Sick
One of the most challenging aspects of living with a chronic illness is that I don’t look sick. I’m not observably sick. To another’s eye, I look perfectly healthy. Over the years, this has made day-to-day living an emotional battle.
I have been told by dozens of doctors that “everything looks normal”, regardless of the fact that I live with chronic pain, increasing food allergies, a disruptive and painful digestive system, and overall lethargy. I have been hearing that I’m just “getting older” since I was in my 30s!
Despite the obvious, to me at least, physical challenges, without a medical reason for my ailments, my mental and emotional health began to suffer as well. Was I crazy?
Actual Self-Care
Without confirmation or a diagnosis from a medical expert, I simply pushed forward the best that I could, many days crying myself to sleep, both from exhaustion and frustration. I pushed myself so hard for so many years, all the while my body was striving to handle its difficulties without any support from me. I kept telling myself that I just needed to be more focused, more disciplined. All of the messages from my childhood as a Gen X flooded my mind every day: “Pick yourself up by your bootstraps.” “Be the first one to arrive and the last to leave.” “Nobody is coming to save you.” “Quit your crying!”
I have only recently been given “permission” to be sick. A visit with a practitioner from my parish revealed that I have been dealing with vaccine injuries from infancy and Lyme disease for the past 22 years, along with a laundry list of things that resulted from those.
No wonder.
Suddenly, I feel I’m allowed to rest. I am being gentle with myself for the first time in decades. It is no surprise that, in addition to the sicknesses themselves, my adrenal system is also severely compromised from “pushing through” the pain for so many years.
We must do better for ourselves and for each other. We must learn to trust our own expertise when it comes to our bodies and minds. As women in business, we feel pressured to perform, sometimes from outside forces and sometimes from within. Our need to prove our worth through our efforts and successes can derail necessary self-care. Actual self-care begins with recognizing that our worth comes from our Creator, not our accomplishments. We must learn to trust in our innate value enough to listen to our own inner voice.
Trust in Our Creator
God is perfectly good and desires only good for us. Learning to suffer well, to offer up our pain for ourselves and for others, is a topic for another article, but we need to acknowledge here that trusting in God’s provision, regardless of what that might bring, is a foundational element of our Catholic faith. We must trust that “all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
When we suffer, it doesn’t mean God has forgotten us or stopped loving us. He has a purpose, and while we may never understand it, when we keep trusting Him, our suffering can become a part of our journey to heaven.
We are blessed in our Catholic faith that we can also pray to the Saints to intercede for us as we journey through this valley of tears. This month offers a great many recognized saints, including October 28th’s feast day for St. Jude. Jude is my godson’s name and my saint for 2025. He is also the saint of lost causes or desperate situations, within which I have often found myself. For those who suffer from a chronic illness, we often feel that our health is a lost cause, but as places such as St. Jude Hospital can attest, miracles do happen through intercessory prayer. St. Jude, pray for us!
Traditionally it is reasoned that Jude is eager to answer prayers because he shared his name with Judas Iscariot. As with all of the Church Triumphant, the Saints love us and are deeply interested in supporting us in our journey. In this new season of life, I am becoming more aware of the friends we have in heaven who can assist us along the narrow way. This may or may not result in physical healing, but their prayers will bring the graces we need to keep going.
Thriving While Surviving
We hear the oft-proclaimed, “I want to thrive, not just survive!” but there are days when surviving is its own type of thriving. Of course, living with a chronic illness does not need to be completely debilitating, nor does it mean that we cannot succeed in growing our business. Setting reasonable goals, keeping realistic expectations, and living with grace will foster a healthy environment.
There will, of course, be days that present insurmountable obstacles. There will be unmet goals and disappointments; howeve,r learning to celebrate every win will help us weather those down moments.
We must learn to take nothing for granted. Every accomplishment deserves recognition, even if only within our own hearts. That small moment of celebration buoys the spirits and brings encouragement to the next tasks.
Difficulties bring us to a breaking point. We can break down or we can be humbled. Humility is the gateway to holiness, so why not let hardships refine and purify us for Him?
Everyone has an Achilles’ heel, some weakness or flaw that stretches their patience and becomes an obstacle in their path. It isn’t that we are somehow more greatly afflicted – consider the saints – but we can achieve greatness through our humiliations. As Catholics, we must strive to live with joy in spite of our circumstances, offering a witness to hope for the world and inviting an abundance of grace into our own lives.
Laryn Weaver is a Catholic writer and speaker whose current focus is a ministry of availability and prayer. Her greatest joys are her marriage, her adult children, and her four grandbabies! Find out more about Laryn at larynweaver.com