Helpful Tips for Managing Up
“Professional work is also an apostolate, an opportunity to give ourselves to others, to reveal Christ to them, and lead them to God the Father” (St. Josemaría Escrivá).
Stressed and irked with changing work expectations and priorities? Exhausted with miscommunication and office politics? Feeling frustrated and unsure how to improve the situation?
Me too.
There have been times when I am confident in understanding my work’s priorities and navigating internal politics. And then there are times where I am at a loss of the expectations and overall frustrated with my workplace situation.
Melody Wilding, author of Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge, describes these work experiences as not knowing how to manage up. Defined as “strategically navigating relationships with those who have more positional power than you”, managing up is an effective skill for taking ownership of your workplace experience.
Wilding shows how to manage up through ten conversations with your supervisor, colleagues, and/or senior levels in both formal and informal settings ranging from defining office priorities and setting boundaries to the money and quitting talks. Each chapter focuses on these ten key conversations with scripts, practical tips, and examples to help you be confident in initiating these conversations in your own workplace.
Getting to the Core of the Problem
It greatly annoys me that after nearly 4 years of working in the same office with the same people that I am still nervous and intimidated engaging in conversations with my supervisor. Conversations regarding clarification, follow-up, feedback, or requests, I seem to freeze and struggle to present myself, ideas, and questions with pose and professionalism. Reading Managing Up, I realize that my core problem has been a difference in communication styles, resulting in a misalignment with our office’s bigger picture of success.
Wilding defines the style of conversation as “unpacking the personalities and psychology of the people you work most closely with” as well as “being clear about your own preferences.” Through studies on communication styles, Wilding presents the intersection of the different styles as the 4Cs: Commander, Cheerleader, Caretaker, and Controller. Acknowledging that styles can overlap, Wilding provides a definition and tips of how best to interact with your manager based on their communication style. What’s more, is the exercise to help you uncover your own communication style(s) to have a better understanding of what frustrates you, find solutions, and how your manager can get your best work. I will be going back through and completing this exercise for both myself and my supervisor.
As I was relating my work frustrations to a mentor, she walked me through visualizing what and how I wanted to say to my supervisor. We walked through knocking on the door, sitting down, having our meeting, taking notes, and asking for clarification. We went as far as to how I would knock, the level of my voice, and the questions I would potentially ask. Visualizing a meeting with my supervisor from start to finish eased my frustrations as well as some store up anxiety. Our conversation and visualization practice reemphasized Wilding’s point on understanding your manager's style as well as the importance of the alignment conversation.
The alignment conversation is “figuring out how your work fits into the bigger picture and making sure you and your boss agree with what success looks like.” Wilding points out that you must know what you want first before aligning with your office by creating a one-year vision plan. Reflect on what you are doing today and what you want to be doing a year from now. What goals, projects, or collaborations do you want to be focusing on?
Once you have a better understanding of what you want, you can focus on aligning yourself with your boss through asking questions in a one-on-one or standalone conversation. Wilding provides example questions to identify goals and pressures, defining success, and clarifying priorities and being willing to dig deeper into their answers. Essentially, it is about being an active listener with your boss. Framing the alignment conversation as being an active listener seems less intimidating in understanding the bigger picture of your work within the office.
Conversing with my mentor and reading Managing Up, is accepting the fact that my supervisor has a specific communication and work style that I cannot control or change. The only thing I can control and change is how I relate and respond to her and my colleagues. I can learn my style preference and adapt to my supervisor’s communication style. I can become an active listener during meetings and conversations and ask questions to see the bigger picture.
Networking and Missionary Discipleship
People are often intimidated by networking events and opportunities, but networking is simply relationship-building. It is how you “build social capital, the currency you earn and spend… in access to information, resources, and more.” And you start networking by talking with people; joining different company groups or task forces, taking breaks and walking around the office/company, and attending company events and meetups. The higher ups and decision makers are important for your career, but the behind-the-scenes support and administration are equally, and sometimes more influential allies. People remember how you treat them and those who are overlooked.
While Wilding’s focus on networking is to manage up, we as Christian Catholics can see networking (relationship building) as a place for evangelization. Our universal mission is to “go therefore, and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19).
Spoiler alert: Our workplace is our place of mission bringing the good news that Christ is Lord was crucified, died, and resurrected saving us from sin and death and reconciling us to God the Father.
It is not Bible thumping or apologetics 101 within our workplace; it is building relationships with those we encounter in our day-to-day and through the promoting of the Holy Spirit sharing Jesus’ love and mercy. This can simply be active listening to others, showing kindness and charity to the “behind-the-scenes” staff, or asking the Holy Spirit to be the agent in your life. This episode of Blessed is She’s The Gathering Podcast speaks directly into the universal call of mission and your personal mission.
Melody Wilding provides practical insights into ten conversations to manage up and take control of your workplace experience and situation. St. Joseph the Worker, pray for us and our workplace situations.
Alexandra (Alex) Harrel resides in Irving, Texas. She is a new student affairs professional within the world of higher education. In her spare time, she loves reading, listening to podcasts, and spending time outdoors. Her favorite prayer is Hail, Holy Queen. You can follow her on Instagram at @2012alexandra.