"There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).
My invitation to write for Catholic Women in Business (CWIB) was a wonderful surprise, but it wasn't a complete surprise. I took one action that cracked open the door when I applied for a volunteer position with CWIB for which I was not selected. Instead the women of CWIB offered me another position as a volunteer writer, and that's exactly what God knew I could handle during this phase of my motherhood.
I have the privilege of writing for CWIB readers despite the fact that I am not currently in business. After six years working in communications, where I learned a lot about work and life, I became a stay-at-home mother to four incredibly beautiful children (one at a time!). I resigned from my last position as communications director at the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE) a couple days before the birth of my first child. I have deeply treasured my time exclusively nurturing and educating these beautiful little ones.
I also loved my communications work, and I am passionate about fighting for human dignity. It was a difficult personal decision to leave NCOSE, but we all have limitations and life has tradeoffs. My desire to stay home with my children and homeschool them won the day.
This is not the case for every woman, and that is perfectly fine. Imagine the loving, compassionate medical care so many sick or pregnant patients would have missed out on if St. Gianna Molla had immediately left the medical profession upon the birth of her first child for instance.
Everyone is different, and the decision to work outside or stay home exclusively is a matter of personal discernment between a woman, her family, and the Holy Spirit. We are all given different temperaments and strengths, and we are all in different circumstances financially and otherwise. All of these things factor into the decision.
With that, I’d like to share my advice for mothers like me, who aren’t currently in business but desire to remain connected to other women in business and to grow in a variety of ways.
Find Community
Being a stay-at-home mother can feel isolating at times. Mothers adore our precious babies and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that our children are the cutest, most precious ones alive (ahem). Our children often say things that demonstrate more wisdom and purity of heart than most adults have. Still, in order to flourish as a person, stay-at-home mothers need adult interaction and intellectual stimulation that tiny children cannot provide, nor can you rely solely on your working husband.
During these in-between years, there are many ways women can fulfill these desires while still doing justice to and nurturing your loved ones at home.
For me, connecting with Catholic Women in Business was one such opportunity. To be able to write and engage with bright, dynamic, and loving women, to learn from them, and to share whatever insights I have with them, is life-giving and deeply meaningful.
I also became a member of Write These Words, a wonderful writers’ group founded by Claire Dwyer and Mike Fontecchio, two generous Catholic souls who could easily hoard the wealth of knowledge and spiritual insights they've gained throughout their lives and careers but choose instead to share what they have learned with aspiring or current Catholic writers.
Whatever your field or area of expertise, find that community, even if your engagement is small or seemingly tangential right now. You never know what doors may open later. Don't allow yourself to become isolated. None of us is an island. Pray that God will provide the supportive community you are seeking.
Cultivate Good Habits, Practice the Virtues, Grow Intellectually
Being a mother at home is a beautiful opportunity to learn right alongside your children, get better at structuring your time, hone your organizational skills, cultivate your mind through reading good books, and grow in a variety of virtues. Identify your personal weaknesses and take this time to work on them and to become a better version of yourself and the saint God made you to be. For instance, I joined Well Read Mom, which is the perfect group for both avid readers and women who simply want to become better, more dedicated readers.
If you have a supportive husband and the financial means, you could also consider formally continuing your education, perhaps even through a flexible, online program. Not every mother has the stamina, financial means, or a supportive family structure to do this while raising children, but if you do, pray about whether that might be God's will.
Surrender
Last but not least, surrender. I’m trying to make my life a prayer of surrender to the will of God, even when I don’t see how I’m going to overcome various adversities or discern the next step in my life. A spiritual posture of daily surrender is necessary for any Catholic who has to overcome challenges or discern anything, which is to say, all of us!
Ultimately, God can sanctify you where you are, whether that's by working outside the home, working inside the home, or stepping away from paid work during your children's formative years or for the rest of your life.
The whole reason each one of us exists is exactly the same: our sanctification and union with God. How we achieve that sanctity and union is where God demonstrates to us His infinite creativity.
Oh Jesus, I surrender myself to you! Take care of everything.
Katherine is a mother of four and lives in Virginia with her family. She contributed a chapter about Our Lady Undoer of Knots to Crowned with Grace: A Collection of Marian Titles and Devotions. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in politics from Ave Maria University. Prior to her current role as homemaker and home educator, she served as communications director for the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, Cong. Keith Rothfus, and Heritage Action for America. She is passionate about living out her Catholic faith and fostering a culture that protects children’s innocence and joy.