Beyond Thankful: A Lifetime of Friendships
“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).
If you do a quick online search, you can find a recognition day for almost anything. For instance, did you know that March 16 is Artichoke Day? Bet you didn’t! When I had the chance to write about International Friendship Day, I jumped at it.
As a child, our friends were our classmates or neighbors, maybe our cousins or teammates, or the children of our parents’ friends. As an adult, our friend groups tend to be from three sources: our past, our parish, and our work.
The friends from our past connect us to who we were. We have shared experiences that unite us—all the stories that start with “Remember when…?”. These friends knew us when we were figuring out who we were: the dreams we dreamed, the goals we set, the terrible haircuts of our childhood … they shared it all. They are the friends you don’t see for years—sometimes decades—but with whom you can fall into a conversation like no time has passed. These friends are precious.
The good old days, indeed.
“There are friends who bring ruin, but there are true friends more loyal than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).
The other night, I was at a gathering of my parish friends, new and old. These women fill me from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. We attended a retreat together almost a decade ago. The ensuing years have brought it all: children growing up, scary diagnoses, sickness, aging and dying parents, and widowhood. We’ve prayed together through it all, and we’ve embraced and welcomed so many new incredible women. Friendships with God at the center are a special gift. I thank God for these holy women every day.
“For I long to see you, that I may share with you some spiritual gift so that you may be strengthened, that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by one another's faith, yours and mine” (Romans 1:11-12).
Then, there are my work friends. There have been so many over the years. Social media gets a bad rap, but through it, I’ve stayed in touch with people I worked with more than 20 years ago.
Work friendships tend to start superficially. You sit next to someone; you’re on the same shift; you’re randomly chosen to serve on the same committee. Then, conversations spring up. Connections are made—my son plays soccer, too; I also love to read; I want to be an entrepreneur, too—and you have a new friend before you know it.
If you work a traditional 8 a.m.-5 p.m. day, you spend more waking hours with the people at work than with your family. It’s sad but true—and it’s why your work friendships can become so important.
Your work friends see you at your best: nailing a presentation, earning recognition for completing a big project, or receiving a promotion. And, they see you at your worst: missing a deadline, sending an email to thousands of people with an unfortunate typo, or being called out in a meeting for not being a team player. No other relationship understands how big the wins and low the lows are.
During the 18 months my team worked from home during COVID and its aftermath, my friends were what I missed the most—the everydayness of our lives and chatting about what we did over the weekend, how our son’s soccer game went, the plans for our new kitchen remodel, the funny thing we saw on your way to work, the new shirt we bought. Of course, there were endless texts, FaceTimes, and hilarious Zoom calls, but it wasn’t quite the same.
Early during this time, we celebrated a friend’s birthday by making signs and standing out in front of her house, singing and laughing. It will always be a joyful memory during such a challenging stretch of life.
Work friends uniquely encourage and support one another. They cheer us on, laugh and cry with us, and tearfully say goodbye when we leave for other career paths. They are a treasure.
“If the one falls, the other will help the fallen one. But woe to the solitary person! If that one should fall, there is no other to help” (Ecclesiastes 4:10).
Years ago, while walking on a treadmill, I heard words that forever changed my thoughts about my friendships. Author and friendship expert Shasta Nelson was talking with Jen Hatmaker about the importance of female friendships. She said that how you answer the question “How loved and supported do you feel?” indicates how your body will protect you from stress in your life—one of the most significant indicators, in fact.
Having friendships doesn’t take away the bad things in your life, but I believe our friendships are God’s gift. With our friends, we celebrate the big moments, cry through the hard times, and hope for more good days than bad. They teach us about ourselves, they sometimes test our patience, they bring us joy, and they may last a lifetime or only for a season.
I pray you have at least one true friend. I pray you have someone to laugh with and cry with and have “Did you see what I just saw?” moments with. I pray your friendships heal you in ways you didn’t know you needed to be healed.
We are called to holy friendships with one another, to love each other as Christ, our savior, loves us. May we be bringers of light and love to those we meet.
Cathi Kennedy is passionate about building relationships. At the University of Notre Dame, she advises graduate students for the Mendoza College of Business. Her background is in marketing and communications, and she recently received her MBA. Impassioned writer, voracious reader, aspiring knitter. Married to a musician and mom to two amazing sons. Cathi is a convert to Catholicism and seeks to learn something new about her faith every day. Connect with Cathi: LinkedIn • Instagram • Facebook • Blog