“Conduct yourselves wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you know how you should respond to each one” (Colossians 4:5-6).

Although I am an introvert, I love one-on-one conversations. I am an excellent asker of questions—a skill I honed over the years interviewing applicants for graduate business programs at the University of Notre Dame. I will barrage you with questions, but only because I am curious about you: what you like, what you care about, who you are.

Connection with others is at the heart of the new book Sacred Conversations: How God Wants Us to Communicate. “I found my way home through the God-given gift of conversation,” writes author Christopher Reed, Ph.D., “which helped me to grow closer to other people and closer to God.”

According to Reed, a leadership coach and consultant and a Catholic, we can become better versions of ourselves through sacred conversations, helping us to understand who we are created to be. We become nearer to God in the process.

Why Do Sacred Conversations Matter?

Reed uses Biblical reasoning to answer this question:

The Father Wants Us to Have These Conversations

By showing mercy, compassion, and kindness to others through conversation, we demonstrate empathy and validate one another. A simple “How are you doing today?” to someone who is struggling can be immensely healing.

Jesus Wants Us to Have These Conversations

Jesus said, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20). He is with us in our interactions, whether we realize it or not. How would our conversations be changed if we only remembered this one insight?

Reed points out that although these conversations are essential, not all will be perfect. A conversation has to be a give-and-take between two people, and sometimes, the other person is not ready or willing to participate. That’s OK. “The goal is to practice often,” he says.

How Can We Intentionally Have Sacred Conversations?

Reed gives us a roadmap:

1. Start With Compassion

Be aware that the other person may be going through a hard day or season.

2. Don’t Force It

Be open to a fruitful exchange, but honor the individual’s willingness to engage. Although it’s the right time for you to talk, it may not be the right time for them.

3. Go All in

Be present and authentic, and allow God to lead the discussion.

Not every conversation that we have will be sacred. But with practice and some intention, our interactions with others can be deeper and help us and others become more fully ourselves.

I find these words of Reed’s to be the most helpful in thinking about how I can incorporate this practice into my daily life: “Keep love at the center. Keep compassion at the heart of the conversation. Expect to be amazed!”

Cathi Kennedy is passionate about building relationships. At the University of Notre Dame, she advises graduate students for the Mendoza College of Business. Her background is in marketing and communications, and she recently received her MBA. Impassioned writer, voracious reader, aspiring knitter. Married to a musician and mom to two amazing sons. Cathi is a convert to Catholicism and seeks to learn something new about her faith every day. Connect with Cathi: LinkedIn • Instagram • Facebook • Blog