What Is a “Power Pause”?
“If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge at the Cathedral of Amiens or drudge behind a gun at Trafalgar. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colourless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give it up; I do not know what the words mean. To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labours and holidays; to be Whiteley within a certain area, providing toys, boots, sheets cakes. and books, to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it … I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness” (G.K. Chesterton).
Since my first daughter was born three and a half years ago, I’ve never been very comfortable with the phrase “stay-at-home mom.” At times, I admit, my discomfort has stemmed from pride: Am I really “just” a mom? (As if I could ever truthfully tell another woman that there is any “just” about being a mom!)
Mostly, though, it feels inaccurate. As any so-called stay-at-home mom will tell you, there is no “staying.” There are errands to run, appointments to keep, and activities to plan. And when we are home, we are working—teaching, comforting, feeding, cleaning, nurturing. As Chesterton says, being a mother is a huge task, and for those of us without jobs outside the home, it is our only task (though for every mother, it is her most important one, outside of prayer).
That’s why, when I first discovered Neha Ruch’s blog and Instagram profile, Mother/Untitled, I immediately became a fan. She calls it “the leading resource for ambitious women leaning into family life.” I would call it the only one—at least, the only one of its kind. She does not dismiss mothers who work full-time as negligent, nor does she dismiss mothers who ‘stay home’ full-time as being without ambition. In fact, she shatters these tired stereotypes, helping women see that they don’t have to fit someone else’s idea of what a mother is.
An Important Movement
When I learned that Ruch had a book deal, I think I celebrated out loud. Ruch is not Christian. Her platform is secular, and she has viewpoints on topics like abortion that I vehemently disagree with.
That’s why I believe she is an important voice in this conversation.
For mothers to have the support we need, our culture needs to value our work. And much of our culture is not going to listen to the Catholic Church when we tell them how important motherhood is. But they might listen to Ruch—and, in fact, they have. The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids—and Come Back Stronger Than Ever is a bestseller. Ruch has been on tour and on major media platforms. Let’s just say my own book, Holy Ambition: Thriving as a Catholic Woman at Work and at Home, is not getting this kind of widespread attention.
It’s about time the challenging, rewarding, blessed work of motherhood was recognized more broadly!
A Practical Resource
Beyond raising the visibility of ambitious stay-at-home (I still don’t have a better term!) moms, though, The Power Pause is a practical resource for mothers planning or currently taking a career break. It would also likely prove helpful for women taking a career break for other caregiving responsibilities as well.
Chapters focus on topics such as working out the financial ramifications of quitting paid work, redefining success and developing a daily rhythm, exploring new passions, and returning to paid work (among others). There is a chapter on finding help, which may prove discouraging to mothers who can’t afford to pay for help, but Ruch does also share advice on creative ways to get help without a budget.
I recommend The Power Pause to any woman thinking of taking a break from paid work, actively planning such a break, currently on a break, or planning to return to paid work. (If I can do so humbly, I would also recommend pairing it with Holy Ambition to add the Catholic perspective on topics like gender, discernment, and identity.)
I’m writing this review while my baby sleeps right next to me (contact is the only way she naps these days) and my preschooler is on the monitor during her rest time. With each new season of motherhood, I find a new rhythm that includes the work God is calling me to do both inside the home and for other Catholic women. I can’t predict what future seasons will hold (and am still, five months postpartum, trying to figure out this one). But I know that I am ambitious in my vocation, encompassing as it does motherhood, marriage, work, and the call to holiness.
Taryn DeLong co-wrote Holy Ambition: Thriving as a Catholic Woman at Work and at Home (Ave Maria Press) to help women hear and follow God’s unique calling for their life. Following her own calling, she currently spends much of her time caring for her two daughters, including homeschooling her preschooler. Taryn studied psychology and education at Meredith College in Raleigh, NC. Before becoming a mother, she worked in university advancement and then B2B editing. Since Taryn was a child, she’s called the Raleigh area home, and she and her husband are now raising their family in a small Raleigh suburb. In addition to supporting Catholic women, she's passionate about inclusion of people with disabilities in life, work, and (most importantly) the Church. She also enjoys reading and playing the piano.
Connect with Taryn on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, her blog, or Substack.