How Did You Do That? Musings on Writing a Book as a Mom of Seven
The most common question I get asked as an author of a new Bible study and a mom of seven is, “How did you do that?” At first, this question made me a little uncomfortable and reminded me of the ones I would receive constantly when my kids were all littles:
“Oh, I only have (insert number) kids, and I can’t keep up. How do you do it?”
“Seven kids? Are you crazy? I have my hands full with (insert number).”
The Secret Sauce
These questions seemed to imply that I was either insane or somehow possessed some kind of superpower that a “normal” mom did not have. As I struggled to process a response that conveyed an authentic and genuine answer, I recognized an important truth: I am just as “normal” as any other mom, because I am often overwhelmed, impatient, tired, and oh-so-imperfectly human. God uses it all, even the mess, inadequacy, faults, and failings. He calls us to use our gifts for His kingdom, and when we do, He always provides. The “secret sauce” for all of us as women living in the light of Christ is to be attuned, first and foremost, to our identity as His beloved daughters.
“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is God from of old, creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary, and his knowledge is beyond scrutiny. He gives power to the faint, abundant strength to the weak” (Isaiah 40:28-29).
My journey of writing a book began, continued, and ended with Him. In the middle of listening to The Bible in a Year with Fr. Mike Schmitz, I experienced a deep longing in my heart to go deeper with the Book of Ruth. I couldn’t get her story out of my mind. She was brave and faithful, meek and strong, and everything I wanted to be as a woman, wife, and mother.
She wouldn’t let me go, so one day I sat down and started journaling. The journaling turned into questions, and the questions led me deep into prayer with God as He revealed how He wanted to work on my heart. Within a couple of months, it was clear that this was a full-on passion project that animated my spirit and gave my entire vocation of mother, wife, and homemaker an infusion of grace. I was learning about Ruth, and I was learning to live like her, too.
Pockets of Time and Tension Points
My writing work became a part of who I knew God was calling me to be — part of my story as His beloved daughter. When I was living fully in this space of truth, the time to write came and paired seamlessly with my vocation as mom and wife. I wrote in the “pockets of time,” sometimes on quiet evenings or weekend afternoons, and occasionally during the day in a coffee shop (dreamy!). There were times when my Ruth project sat patiently on my desk as weeks passed and my attention was needed elsewhere. When I felt antsy or unsettled about not having time to write, I would sit with the Lord and let Him remind me that I work on His time. He knits the fabric of that time and ordains how I am meant to spend it with care and intention. It was His work, ultimately, and so I focused the longings of my heart on surrendering my time to Him.
Like any journey in life, there were tension points. Looking back, I am genuinely grateful for all of them. As I endeavored to launch this little book into the Catholic publishing space, I was met with the sting of rejection from multiple Catholic publishers who were not interested in taking on my project. This painful stripping away of opportunity after opportunity drove me to my knees in prayer and ultimately to a realization: I did not need the stamp of a big publisher to bring this book to life. As it turned out, self-publishing was the perfect path for this book, and I am so grateful now for that rejection. It made way for a beautiful and blessed path that I had not been able to see.
Feminine Genius in Action
As the months of writing “Love and Loyalty” drew to a close, and as I navigated the publishing process, I was blessed to connect with a Catholic writing community. PraiseWriters opened my eyes to the wisdom and insight found in the world of writing alongside fellow writers who shared similar goals. Through this community, I found a branding strategist, editor, and book designer who understood my vision and possessed the skill sets to help me cross the finish line as a published author. I also connected with women whom I have long admired as Catholic writers and who have become treasured friends and mentors. They gave me encouragement, affirmation, space to worry and vent, and the confidence to keep pushing forward with my dreams.
From a personal perspective, those final months of editing, refining, and designing provided tremendous growth for me as a mom, wife, and writer. My children saw their mama strive for a goal that required hundreds of hours of quiet, faithful work, and they became my biggest cheerleaders. Seeing their enthusiasm and pride in my writing convinced me that no matter how many copies of this little work of my heart were sold, the true measure of success was showing my precious children what can happen when we pursue our dreams with passion, tenacity, and our eyes on Christ.
I held close the reality that we, as women, are uniquely gifted to witness maternity, generosity, and receptivity throughout all the creative work we do in our lives, whether at home or in the world at large. Instead of striving in vain to “do it all,” we can allow our God-given feminine genius to serve as the nucleus from which our work derives its energy. Much like the sun serves as a generative light for the earth, Christ is ever-present with us, animating and guiding our work.
“And this is the testimony: God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever possesses the Son has life” (1 John 5:11-12).
In the weeks leading up to the book’s release, I wrote this:
“As I navigate the absolute privilege of releasing my first book, I hold the light of Christ close and give gratitude and praise for this one crazy, amazing, wild ride of a life. Doubts and fears and all, I know one thing for sure. All will be well, and I will resolve to enjoy every minute of the journey because it always leads me back to Him — the only author any of us ever really needs.”
Looking back on this project, one thing is abundantly clear: I am loved, cherished, and delighted in by God, and He is a generous giver who never ceases to amaze me. My vocation is, and always will be, firmly rooted in a deep appreciation of the gifts He has given me. “Love and Loyalty: Heart Lessons from the Book of Ruth” is a work of my heart that I am privileged and grateful to share with my fellow beloved daughters of our truly awesome God. May He be praised!
Alli Koscal is a Catholic wife, mom to seven, author, and the voice behind Finding Havens. With a warm, authentic style, Alli writes to help women discover sacred spaces of peace and faith in their everyday lives. Inspired by the quiet strength of biblical women like Ruth, her writing blends deep spiritual insight with gentle encouragement. She recently published her first book, a bible study titled Love and Loyalty: Heart Lessons from the Book of Ruth. When not writing, Alli can be found with a good book and a cup of coffee, spending time with her beautiful family, or dreaming up new ways to help women create havens of beauty and grace.
For more information on Alli’s ministry, writing, speaking and more, visit allikoscal.com or follow her on Instagram @findinghavens7.